IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children in every aspect. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #computer #games #children #aspect #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, many people argue that if
children
Use synonyms
 play
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
, it can negatively affect the
development
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
, yet remaining people disagree with the opinion. Personally, I believe that
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 has both pros and cons because of the following reasons. Granted, one may argue that playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 takes a lot of
children
Use synonyms
’s
time
Use synonyms
 to finish the
games
Use synonyms
, so
children
Use synonyms
 spend
time
Use synonyms
 on unnecessary and meaningless
activities
Use synonyms
. It is true that the average
time
Use synonyms
 of each game’s stage is 20-40 minutes, so some
children
Use synonyms
 can not spend
time
Use synonyms
 on more crucial
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as doing homework, household chores, etc.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays, with the
development
Use synonyms
 of technology and science,
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 play an important role in educational
activities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, through a surveyed period, before studying any kinds of subjects,
children
Use synonyms
 should improve mental health by training their brain with puzzle
games
Use synonyms
. Admittedly, one might argue that if
children
Use synonyms
 stay at home and play videos too much, they can become passive individuals and develop difficulty. In some cases, the perspective can be right because without going outside and endeavouring to directly communicate with different buddies, they cannot improve their life skills.
In contrast
Linking Words
, due to the pandemic period when people stick at home and impossibly commute to schools or stations, playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 play a crucial role in maintaining the balance between physical and mental people’s health and
activities
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, thanks to the appearance of
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 can keep communicating with their friends, and they proactively accept new unfamiliar traditions and cultures from international friends from many countries. In conclusion, from
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
 perspective, I believe that playing
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 play an important role in the
development
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 of both physical and mental health because it can keep
children
Use synonyms
 proactively communicating with their friends in the most challenging situations, and it is the key to help
children
Use synonyms
 study productively.
Submitted by Sofianguyen.kt176 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Addiction
  • Academic performance
  • Social interactions
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Obesity
  • Desensitize
  • Cognitive development
  • Problem-solving
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Multiplayer games
  • Social interaction
  • Teamwork
  • Moderation
  • Proper guidance
  • Monitor
  • Time limits
  • Balanced approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: