Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Some people say that international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
These days, international
tourism
is the largest industry in the world
. Some individuals think that international tourism
is creating tension rather than establishing cultural understanding among people
from different cultures
. I personally disagree with this
viewpoint because international tourism
helps to foster solidarity
among cultures
, and eliminates discrimination
throughout the world
.
International tourism
promotes solidarity
among different nations
. International tourists who travel worldwide learn about diverse
Correct article usage
the diverse
cultures
, languages, and lifestyles of different nations
. This
allows them to become respectful towards different cultural norms and behaviours, which fosters solidarity
and cooperation among different nations
. Solidarity
among nations
is required to establish peace and love
in this
world
. For example
, tourists from different parts of the world
love
to visit different places because they love
appreciating the cultures
of others and promoting peace and love
.
Moreover
, international tourism
helps to eliminate discrimination
among nations
. Visiting one place to another fosters interactions among people
from various cultures
, which promotes endurance. People
learn to consider this
world
a global village and become brothers to each other and they learn to stand each other's side when they are in a
danger. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, international tourism
erases discrimination
among nations
. For example
, many young people
from Australia love
to visit other countries only because it allows them to share their cultures
with others.
In conclusion, I fully disagree with the point that international tourism
establishes discrimination
. It rather promotes solidarity
and peace among different nations
and eliminates discrimination
. To establish a world
, which is free from discrimination
can be possible through international tourism
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your position on the topic, which is important for a strong task response. However, consider the inclusion of a brief mention of a counterargument to strengthen your stand even further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects back to the main thesis statement. This will help maintain a high level of coherence.
task achievement
You have presented a well-rounded argument that successfully supports your viewpoint with logical reasoning and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Solidarity and discrimination are discussed with specific examples that illustrate your points, making your argument stronger.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite