IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #travel #countries #information #tv #internet
Some people consider that it is mandatory to travel abroad to learn about foreign
countries
.
However
, others believe that there is no need to learn about those
countries
 but to gain through the television and the internet. Travelling abroad can sometimes be scary for beginners.
Nevertheless
, travelling with family and friends can be a different experience and fun. People usually visit other
countries
 during vacations.
Thus
,
such
 people get to know about a nation’s language, origin, heritage, culture and many more.
Consequently
, when they return to their homeland, they share their amazing experiences
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their loved ones. They
also
 recommend others
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
when and where to go on tour to different domains.
Additionally
, travellers can differentiate nations to nations and language to language.
On the other hand
, it is not always possible to travel abroad.
This
 is because not everyone can bear the expenses when booking and travelling. Another concern is getting the VISA since it is a very long process. With the ongoing advancement
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 technology, we can get updates about our neighbouring
countries
.
For example
, knowing about current affairs and tragic situations of a particular country. Based on these data, we have a clear idea
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 international tourism. Through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television and the internet, we get an immense knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different factors including economics, politics, entertainment and so on. In conclusion, I believe the advantages of travelling abroad are more considerable.
Nonetheless
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television and the internet provide us with an abundance of information.
Submitted by akrammum12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • interactions
  • virtual means
  • cultural nuances
  • language acquisition
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • sustainability
  • virtual tours
  • documentaries
  • sophisticated
  • realistic representations
  • comprehensive understanding
  • financial status
  • carbon footprint
  • digital resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: