IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe teenagers should follow the examples of older people, others believe it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some
people
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 believe
teenagers
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 should follow the examples of older
people
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,
while
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 others argue it is natural for
teenagers
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 to challenge what older
people
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 say. Both perspectives have valid arguments, and
this
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 essay will discuss each before presenting my own opinion. On one side, supporters of following elders’ examples emphasize the value of experience and tradition. Older
people
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 have accumulated knowledge through years of navigating life’s complexities, and their advice can help
teenagers
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 avoid common pitfalls.
For example
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, elders often provide guidance on relationships, education, and career choices, which can be invaluable for young
people
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 who are still developing their sense of identity.
Moreover
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, respecting and learning from older generations helps maintain social harmony and ensures that important cultural values are passed down.
Conversely
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, many argue that it is both natural and beneficial for
teenagers
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 to question and challenge the views of older generations. Adolescence is a critical period for developing independent thinking and forming one’s own beliefs. By challenging established norms,
teenagers
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 can drive progress and innovation. History demonstrates that social advancements—
such
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 as movements for civil rights and gender equality—have often been led by young
people
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 who dared to question the status quo. Encouraging
teenagers
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 to think critically prepares them for responsible citizenship in a rapidly changing world. In my opinion, a balanced approach is ideal.
Teenagers
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 should respect and learn from the wisdom of their elders, but they should
also
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 be encouraged to question outdated or unjust practices. Open dialogue between generations can foster mutual understanding, allowing society to preserve valuable traditions
while
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 embracing necessary change. Ultimately,
this
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 balance benefits both individuals and the broader community.

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task response
Your introduction clearly presents both sides and states your opinion. This is great!
task response
You provided good examples in your body paragraphs, but try to add another specific example to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are well organized, and each paragraph has a clear main point. Keep it up!
coherence and cohesion
You used linking words nicely, but adding a few more can help your essay flow more smoothly.
task response
The essay presents a balanced view and shows a good understanding of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective and reinforces the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Role models
  • Respect for tradition
  • Wisdom
  • Societal stability
  • Continuity
  • Critical thinking
  • Innovation
  • Societal progress
  • Adaptability
  • Questioning authority
  • Seeking identity
  • Generational gap
  • Value systems
  • Adherence
  • Challenging norms
  • Cultural evolution
  • Empathy
  • Guidance
  • Rebellion
What to do next:
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