IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some People Think That the Government Should Establish Free Libraries in each town. Others believe that it is a waste of money since people can access the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #government #libraries #town #waste #money #access #internet #home #information
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It is important for people to consider whether the government should provide free access to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each town, or
this
Linking Words
 is a waste of the national expenditure because of the availability of the Internet to gain information at home.
However
Linking Words
, I state my view that the government should effectively invest their money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other projects rather than the
libraries
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
present
Replace the word
presence
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 of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 in each town
migh
Correct your spelling
might
 help the citizen easily access
to
Change preposition
apply
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knowledge. The fact behind
this
Linking Words
 because there are several
libraries
Use synonyms
 in Vietnam located far from the
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
are
Correct your spelling
area
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 often
taking
Wrong verb form
takes
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 villagers 4-5 hours to get there to satisfy the curiosity of
Correct article usage
the lastest
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lastest
Correct your spelling
latest
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 occurrence.
However
Linking Words
, if the library charge for
entrance
Add an article
the entrance
an entrance
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 fee, people can not afford
for
Change preposition
apply
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books due to
their
Change the word
the
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 high price of copyright.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the feasibility of
cost- benefit
Add a hyphen
cost-benefit
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 efficiency of national projects should be taken into consideration. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that the residents, nowadays, have a tendency to stay at home surf the Internet for information
instead
Linking Words
 of spending time travelling to the
libraries
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it would be arguably worthy for making
investment
Correct article usage
an investment
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on
Change preposition
in
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 public services and health care.
Additionally
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, while
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate change has been exacerbated, the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
urgency of allocating fiscal funding to sustainable energies
such
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 as solar and wind power may alleviate 
this
Linking Words
 issue.
As a result
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, these two benefits lead to
minimise
Change the verb form
minimising
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 the financial burden on the authority. In conclusion, 
although
Linking Words
 the functions of public
libraries
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 necessary,
this
Linking Words
 does not mean making the existence of at least one in all town is absolutely wasteful, the national budget and problems need to be addressed.
Submitted by inapptrial1 on

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