During these days, celebrities become well-known for their wealth and glamourous lifestyles rather than what they do and achieve, and therefore, people say that this is a bad trend for children.

#celebrities #wealth #glamourous #lifestyles #people #trend #children

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During these days,

celebrities

Use synonyms

become well-known for their wealth and glamourous lifestyles rather than what they do and achieve, and

therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

say that

this

Linking Words

is a bad trend for children. In my opinion, I agree with

this

Linking Words

view only to some extent. What I believe is that

although

Linking Words

some are really a bad figure for the youths, some others

also

Linking Words

exist as excellent role models. On the one hand, some

people

Use synonyms

get famous just by luck or by their physical appearance without having any talent and without really working hard. They just become wealthy because their parents are originally rich, or they may marry a rich person, or sometimes they might do bad and illegal things;

as a result

Linking Words

, other

people

Use synonyms

get the wrong idea by

this

Linking Words

For example

Linking Words

, some

celebrities

Use synonyms

gain popularity from a gossip reality TV programme and they show off their lifestyles on social media and many young students feel envious of them.

This

Linking Words

is giving the young ones the wrong message and guiding them to the wrong way of worshipping materialism. What we really need to teach the children is that being wealthy and having a pretty face are not as important and essential as someone's good nature, mindset and character.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

celebrities

Use synonyms

are actually well-respected for their great effort, admirable mindset and achievements. Some came from normal or low family backgrounds and did pave their own way.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

celebrities

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

make many positive contributions to society using their popularity and participate in the world's social issues as much as they can. They do show great persistence, perseverance, diligence and responsibility which are the real crucial skills to live life very well. A good example of

this

Linking Words

is the actor Jackie Chan who is a living figure of practice and hard work as well as good

personality

Change the noun form

personalities

show examples

such

Linking Words

as bravery and optimism. These kinds of

celebrities

Use synonyms

are brilliant figures for teenagers and adults to develop a good attitude. In conclusion, I dare say that the influence of

celebrities

Use synonyms

may be both positive and negative for young

people

Use synonyms

depending on which kind of person they originally are.

Submitted by Shwe Yamin on Thu Oct 28 2021

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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During these days, celebrities become well-known for their wealth and glamourous lifestyles rather than what they do and achieve, and therefore, people say that this is a bad trend for children.

Your opinion

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. In this contemporary

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

In some countries, governments spend large amounts of money supporting the arts. While some believe this is a justified use of public money, others think that public money should be spent on schools and hospitals instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You have booked a hotel for some reasons you need to change the booking dates and details. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel for the same in your letter give details For the booking you have made Inform changes you want with your booking State reasons for the changes.

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education so that they can at least read, write, and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?