Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Retirement centres have simplified the lives of elderly people because these properties provide various amenities.
Due to
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this
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, senior citizens prefer to live with their peers in old-age homes rather than staying with families.
Although
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some argue that
this
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may reduce family bonding,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
strongly believe
this
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trend is very positive for older individuals, as they receive wider social connections and healthcare support. One major upside is the presence of an enhanced social network through group activities. These opportunities help elderly individuals connect with their peers, who share similar interests and life experiences.
For example
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, fitness clubs, dance classes and libraries provide a remarkable atmosphere to make friends and build social connections, which reduces loneliness and isolation.
As a result
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,
this
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strengthens not only their relationships but
also
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their mental health.
In addition
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to
this
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, these facilities have access to medical
care
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, which encourages elderly folks to join them.
This
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also
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includes immediate help in emergencies, which eliminates the need to arrange transportation and other requirements. The main advantage is saving time and providing consistent
care
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, as older people often feel sick.
For instance
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, on-site medical staff, medications and safety measures ensure that elders are healthy and remain free from diseases.
Moreover
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, medical professionals
also
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plan the best dietary options as these individuals require a balanced diet rich in essential nutrients and vitamins.
Therefore
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, these
care
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homes prove to be very beneficial, allowing seniors to enjoy the rest of their lives peacefully. In conclusion, even though it is difficult for some families to take responsibility for elderly people because of hectic work life;
however
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, senior citizens can enrol in retirement home programs, where they receive instant
care
Use synonyms
and social interactions with their peers.

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grammar
Fix grammar and spell I correctly. Use capital I and proper punctuation.
structure
Plan the essay well. Use a simple plan with one idea per paragraph and clear topic sentences.
content
Give more exact examples and explain how they show benefit.
lexical
Be steady in word choice. Use the same words for elderly people and do not mix terms.
position
Clear stance that retirement homes can be a good choice.
cohesion
Good use of linking words to move from idea to idea.
content
Key ideas of social life and medical aid are shown.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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