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Band 6

Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #idea #work #age
In our modern society, there has been a trend towards continuing to
work
 at their old
age
. These things would depend on myriad factors. So I strongly believe that we have many enormous benefits by going to
work
 at old
age
. There are two reasons that
people
 should not continue to
work
 at their old
age
.
First
, some nations have a law that requires a limited
age
 to
work
, and the majority of states
work
.
This
 is the reason why some
people
 retire early when they are just 55 years old.
Second
, health is not guaranteed for the jobs. It is especially true for some jobs which obligate the worker to have good health.
For example
, the construction site is not suitable for
people
 who have the aforementioned drawbacks, because they might do heavy
work
 in a polluted environment and these things will seriously decrease their health.
Although
 the thing continues to
work
 at old
age
 has the drawbacks but I opine that the advantageous issue still exists. If we decrease the number of employees from 55 to 60 too early, it will cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the growing financial burden of
this
 country. Because they do not have an
Replace the word
effect
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
, their ability in
work
 is active, well and productive. And
also
, they have many experiences in fields that can lead young
people
 to do those things perfectly.
In addition
, continuing to go to
work
 even at old
age
 will push for greater gender equality. In conclusion, it is a good idea for employees who have old
age
 to continue to go to
work
 and contribute their value and create more benefits for society becomes developments.
Submitted by Eteacher on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifelong employment
  • senior workforce
  • retirement age
  • pension schemes
  • financial security
  • age discrimination
  • workforce diversity
  • technological savvy
  • healthcare considerations
  • mental acuity
  • social contribution
  • intergenerational transfer of knowledge
  • quality of life
  • career longevity
  • voluntary work
  • compulsory retirement
  • flexible working arrangements
  • job market dynamics
  • dignified retirement
  • work-life balance
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