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Band 5.5

Giving children an adolescent pocket money is common throughout the world. this goes the advantages and disadvantages of this practice and give your own opinion.

#children #adolescent #pocket #money #world #practice
well
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,well
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 it seems like
quite
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aquite
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 nature thing
giveing
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giving
 pocket
money
 to
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children
children's
childrens
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children
show examples
 nowadays in
this
eassy
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essay
i
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I
show examples
 will discuss
about
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apply
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it is and give it
is
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages.
firstly
, giving
money
 to adolescent from elders
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is like a sharing of love bond or like
giveing
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giving
happyness
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happiness
childerns
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children
 always loves and joy to get some
banch
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bunch
bench
 of
money
 to utilise purpose from that some people
use
 for to buy
things
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, for instance,
show examples
for instance
 buy some
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clothes
show examples
cloths
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clothes
show examples
 to wear party or some school
activitys
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activities
activity
 and outing with friends and enjoying in
resturants
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restaurants
 and some food place or parks or some ice cream cafe etc.
therefor
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therefore
show examples
, there are some
childers
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children
Childers
 are like save
money
 for buying gifts to give loved ones and to go to trip with friends in holidays etc.. and
also
 there are
planty
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plenty
 of advantages like
this
 to give pocket
money
 to youth people maybe those
use
 for good or not
however
, there are
plathora
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plethora
 of disadvantages is there few people
use
this
 type of
money
 for bad habits or like useless
things
such
 as drugs,smoking tobacco,or spend in
bar
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the bar
show examples
, etc...
in addition
 to, most of the
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
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children
show examples
 we can
seen
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see
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 nowadays they are in
bad
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a bad
show examples
 situation because of
money
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 most of the students
increaced
Correct your spelling
increased
 using drugs and tobacco because of
money
 the parents or relatives giving
money
 like pocket thing
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
that
 why they are in bad because they
use
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 for that purposes without
money
 they could not get
things
 like that
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
, parents must notice that how their boys or girls spending
money
 and
things
 etc
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 to conclude,
teen age
Correct your spelling
teenage
show examples
 society spends
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different kinds of
things
 some will
use
 for good some will may not
be
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
use
 for good. in personal parents must check their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
 transaction history of their children
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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