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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #members
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communications play an essential role in social life. certain individuals believe that now
people
Use synonyms
 have less interaction between the blood relations as compared to past, due to advancement of technology;
however
Linking Words
, my opinion world has become a global village ,yet many in it
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 green apart.
to begin
Linking Words
 with, the most prominent reason, why now
people
Use synonyms
 communicate very less with kinship,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is due to their busy schedule and some
changing
Replace the word
changes
show examples
 in their lifestyle . Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 only
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
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 on their competition and
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to
coping
Wrong verb form
cope
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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inflation.
thus
Linking Words
, they are doing hard work for their monotonous lifestyle. To vindicate, according to BBC, Japan is a
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
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 country, as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 nation have more competition and their
people
Use synonyms
 only focus on their mindsets.
hence
Linking Words
 ,Japanese
people
Use synonyms
 have less communication with their family members as well as with their friends.
secondly
Linking Words
, lack of generation gap
is
Change the verb form
is also played
is also playing
show examples
also
Linking Words
 plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
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 role in less communication with others. nowadays an era of technology so,elders citizens
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough knowledge of it.
Thus
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, young children cannot cope
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 relationship
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
 old age individuals. shifting towards the
second
Linking Words
 school of thought,
people
Use synonyms
 are glued
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social media. they have busy in socialize apps like Instagram ,WhatsApp and Snapchat.
hence
Linking Words
, they are over-embellished only on internet friends but they do not have
relation
Add an article
a relation
the relation
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between
Change preposition
with
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 their family. in conclusion,
although
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 everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a busy schedule , the generation gap and technology is
also
Linking Words
 indulged in the lack of communication activity , yet they should give time to their family member.
hence
Linking Words
, they will make their strong bonding with each other.
Submitted by naresh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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