Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #members

communications play an essential role in social life. certain individuals believe that now

people

have less interaction between the blood relations as compared to past, due to advancement of technology;

however

, my opinion world has become a global village ,yet many in it

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

green apart.

to begin

with, the most prominent reason, why now

people

communicate very less with kinship,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is due to their busy schedule and some

changing

Replace the word

changes

show examples

in their lifestyle . Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

only

focusing

Wrong verb form

focus

show examples

on their competition and

trying

Wrong verb form

try

show examples

coping

Wrong verb form

cope

show examples

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

inflation.

thus

, they are doing hard work for their monotonous lifestyle. To vindicate, according to BBC, Japan is a

well developed

Add a hyphen

well-developed

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country, as

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

nation have more competition and their

people

only focus on their mindsets.

hence

,Japanese

people

have less communication with their family members as well as with their friends.

secondly

, lack of generation gap

Change the verb form

is also played

is also playing

show examples

also

plays

vital

Add an article

a vital

show examples

role in less communication with others. nowadays an era of technology so,elders citizens

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not enough knowledge of it.

Thus

, young children cannot cope

their

Change preposition

with their

show examples

relationship

between

Change preposition

with

show examples

old age individuals. shifting towards the

second

school of thought,

people

are glued

with

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show examples

social media. they have busy in socialize apps like Instagram ,WhatsApp and Snapchat.

hence

, they are over-embellished only on internet friends but they do not have

relation

Add an article

a relation

the relation

show examples

between

Change preposition

with

show examples

their family. in conclusion,

although

everyone

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a busy schedule , the generation gap and technology is

also

indulged in the lack of communication activity , yet they should give time to their family member.

hence

, they will make their strong bonding with each other.

Submitted by naresh on Fri Oct 29 2021

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

264 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.