Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??

#people #children #school #parents #future

Nowadays, the upbringing

Change preposition

of chidren

show examples

chidren

Correct your spelling

children

deal is abbudance popular not only in Vietnam, but

also

in the world.

Hence

, various

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

would like

pre-teen

Fix the agreement mistake

pre-teens

show examples

intruct

Correct your spelling

instruct

formal education on becoming

a great

Correct the article-noun agreement

a great parent

great parents

show examples

parents

in the future. In my opinion,

that is

a huge

corcern

Correct your spelling

concern

of offspring and I'm going to present the drawback of

this

aspect.

To begin

with, children who

Change the verb form

are

show examples

under

12-year-old

Correct your spelling

12 years old

that

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the period of

discover

Wrong verb form

discovering

show examples

and

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

around them and there are a lot of

burdern

Correct your spelling

burdens

to them if they

study

about how to be

a good

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good parent

good parents

show examples

parents

because they are not

aldults

Correct your spelling

adults

and enough

recognize

Fix the infinitive

to recognize

show examples

this

society.

For instance

, a

10 year-old

Add a hyphen

10-year-old

show examples

child definitely that it is difficult to earn money to nurture them since they are under 18 and their thinking is small.

Furthermore

, pre-teen has various

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

at their school to

study

and many

pressure

Fix the agreement mistake

pressures

show examples

so it would be

overload

Wrong verb form

overloaded

show examples

and lead to stress at

this

stage. Their

parents

probably

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

full time and

less

Add a missing verb

have less

show examples

relaxing time to share or play with

offspring

Correct pronoun usage

their offspring

show examples

Therefore

, children can face with many

issuses

Correct your spelling

issues

such

as health,

insomia

Correct your spelling

insomnia

, addiction and so on.

That is

diverity

Correct your spelling

diversity

problems on them and the

trainning

Correct your spelling

training

children to be

a good

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good parent

good parents

show examples

parents

is hard to acceptable.

For example

, pre-teen

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to do more

excercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

than back

then

because education is more and more

impovement

Correct your spelling

improvement

and require

schoolstudents

Correct your spelling

school students

study

overload and their mind

would't

Correct your spelling

wouldn't

would

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

space for how to be

Change the article

show examples

excellent somedays.

To conclude

, how to educate students to be the best person would be crucial than to be

a good

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good parent

good parents

show examples

parents

. If

schoolstudents

Correct your spelling

school students

are practice and travel in

this

society

along with

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

well.Plus their

parents

are always beside

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

guide and love them,

obviously

Add a comma

obviously,

show examples

they would develop their

metal

Correct your spelling

mental

show examples

and physical. From there, they will feel how to be

a good

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good parent

good parents

show examples

parents

somedays

Correct your spelling

some days

show examples

Submitted by trandinhthienthao on Fri Oct 29 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay demonstrates a weak understanding of the topic. There are several grammatical and structural issues that affect the clarity of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of the essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the development of ideas is disorganized, which affects the overall flow of the essay.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only government and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in the improvement of the environment. Many people argue that everyone should contribute, while others believe that the Authorities and the corporate houses can do better for the earth. In my point of view, it is everyone’s responsibility to keep the environment neat and clean.
8
band
big salary is much more important than job satisfaction do you agree or diagrss?
It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wages even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than salary.
8
band
You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask you landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain. - why you can't pay the rent - when you will pay the rent - How you will ensure you can pay the rent in the future
I am your tenant and have been living in your flat in the city centre for a couple of years. However, these days I am having financial problems. That’s why I am writing to you in order to request an extended period of renting.
5
band
Some people think that criminal behaviour can have genetic reasons, while others believe that only circumstances can lead some people to crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often believed that the mentality of the audience to commit a scandal is based on genetic factors. On the other hand, others have an opinion that states situations may be the reason for a person to do an atrocity.I would like to explain both cases and give my opinion in this essay.However, I would agree with the latter part since a majority of the audience is forced by the situations and disturbances and commit illegal activity.
5.5
band
Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?
Over the last few decades, there is a considerable increase in the number of species which are put in the red list. Many people claim that governments and public should fund more on the protection of animals, whereas opponents of this statement maintain that it worth spending money in other projects.

Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only government and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

big salary is much more important than job satisfaction do you agree or diagrss?

You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask you landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain. - why you can't pay the rent - when you will pay the rent - How you will ensure you can pay the rent in the future

Some people think that criminal behaviour can have genetic reasons, while others believe that only circumstances can lead some people to crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?