Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??

Nowadays, the upbringing
Change preposition
of chidren
show examples
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
deal is abbudance popular not only in Vietnam, but
also
in the world.
Hence
, various
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
would like
pre-teen
Fix the agreement mistake
pre-teens
show examples
to
intruct
Correct your spelling
instruct
formal education on becoming
a great
Correct the article-noun agreement
a great parent
great parents
show examples
parents
in the future. In my opinion,
that is
a huge
corcern
Correct your spelling
concern
of offspring and I'm going to present the drawback of
this
aspect.
To begin
with, children who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
under
12-year-old
Correct your spelling
12 years old
that
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the period of
discover
Wrong verb form
discovering
show examples
and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
around them and there are a lot of
burdern
Correct your spelling
burdens
to them if they
study
about how to be
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good parent
good parents
show examples
parents
because they are not
aldults
Correct your spelling
adults
and enough
recognize
Fix the infinitive
to recognize
show examples
this
society.
For instance
, a
10 year-old
Add a hyphen
10-year-old
show examples
child definitely that it is difficult to earn money to nurture them since they are under 18 and their thinking is small.
Furthermore
, pre-teen has various
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
at their school to
study
and many
pressure
Fix the agreement mistake
pressures
show examples
so it would be
overload
Wrong verb form
overloaded
show examples
and lead to stress at
this
stage. Their
parents
probably
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
full time and
less
Add a missing verb
have less
show examples
relaxing time to share or play with
offspring
Correct pronoun usage
their offspring
show examples
.
Therefore
, children can face with many
issuses
Correct your spelling
issues
such
as health,
insomia
Correct your spelling
insomnia
, addiction and so on.
That is
diverity
Correct your spelling
diversity
problems on them and the
trainning
Correct your spelling
training
children to be
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good parent
good parents
show examples
parents
is hard to acceptable.
For example
, pre-teen
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to do more
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
than back
then
because education is more and more
impovement
Correct your spelling
improvement
and require
schoolstudents
Correct your spelling
school students
study
overload and their mind
would't
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
would
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space for how to be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
excellent somedays.
To conclude
, how to educate students to be the best person would be crucial than to be
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good parent
good parents
show examples
parents
. If
schoolstudents
Correct your spelling
school students
are practice and travel in
this
society
along with
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
well.Plus their
parents
are always beside
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
guide and love them,
obviously
Add a comma
obviously,
show examples
they would develop their
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
and physical. From there, they will feel how to be
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good parent
good parents
show examples
parents
somedays
Correct your spelling
some days
show examples
.
Submitted by trandinhthienthao on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay demonstrates a weak understanding of the topic. There are several grammatical and structural issues that affect the clarity of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the development of ideas is disorganized, which affects the overall flow of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: