IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

homework: Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#homework #money #time
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Nowadays, we can select many various jobs and easy to earn
money
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.
People
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 get a
lot
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 of incomes and few leisure
time
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 is more satisfied than making a little
money
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 and spending their free
time
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 a
lot
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides of view and mention my opinion in the
last
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.
To begin
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 with, It is clear that they might get a high income and status in their company.
This
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 means that
people
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 tend to spend a
lot
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 of
time
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 working in their life and they might want to feel satisfaction.
For example
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, when
people
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 are working as a low rank, they cannot give a high salary and feel enjoyable in the working place.
Moreover
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, they can utilize high-quality facilities. In another word, they have a large amount of fee and they are able to stay at the high building.
Furthermore
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, they are likely to use enormous costs
such
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 as sightseeing which appoint the expensive hotel and
first
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-class on the aeroplane.
On the other hand
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, it is evident that individuals are able to do their favourite activities.
For instance
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, when
people
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 would like to go to other nations, it takes a
lot
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 of
time
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 to get there and whether they do not have enough day off, they cannot enjoy in that place.
In addition
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,
time
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 could not buy
money
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.
This
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 is a natural habitat and we cannot reverse our
time
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. Because of
this
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, we should not bind to earn
money
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 or do their job on their precious life while we carry on our hobby. To sum up, in my point of view, we must have massive free
time
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 and a few budgets which is better than sufficient
money
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 but we do not give them their vacant days.
Submitted by ryohei.o532 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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