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Band 4

Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #children #school #parents #future
Children and
parents
 are always a significant topic and
to become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 a great mother and father are difficult these days.
Therefore
, various schools instruct students to turn into good
parents
 somdays at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age. In my opinion,
this
 view would bring many drawbacks and I'm going to
illutrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
show examples
this
 essay. On the one hand, school students who are
who are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
under 18 with
recognise
Wrong verb form
recognised
show examples
 and
knowleagable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
knowledgable
 are narrow.
Hence
, if primary schools train them that way when they are not
aldults
Correct your spelling
adults
, they tend to
pressure
Wrong verb form
be pressured
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and burden
show examples
burden
Replace the word
burdened
show examples
 because pre-teens study not only subjects but
also
 have time to relax or do exercise. They have to develop their
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
 and physical and improve healthy life.
For instance
, a student is 10-year-old just
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to learn in 30 minutes and
then
 they want to go out and chat with friends so they don't want to think about how to turn into
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 father or mother because
that is
 out of think of them. In their head just
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
play, eat, friends and study.
On the other hand
,
aldults
Correct your spelling
adults
 have an important role in offspring's life. If
aldults
Correct your spelling
adults
 give helpful
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 or guide them
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 way to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 a kind person,
that is
 so worth learning
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 them.
Moreover
, pre-teens
is
Verb problem
find it
show examples
 easy to do anything that their
parents
 do.
That
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
all
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of
aldults
Correct your spelling
adults
.
For example
, when school students meet
Correct article usage
a nebourhood
show examples
nebourhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
 who is next to their house. If they behave
rude
Change the adjective
rudely
show examples
 to people, it means they are not taught well.
Hence
, if we want to train
sombody
Correct your spelling
somebody
, first we have a polite person. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, children are a white page and colored on that page bright or dark points are based on us. They become a kind or bad guy which
thank
Wrong verb form
is thanks
show examples
 to the education of
parents
 and teachers. If we are bright mirrors , it means they are
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 person in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
Submitted by trandinhthienthao on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly address the topic and succinctly summarize your main points.
Task Achievement
Focus on addressing all aspects of the prompt and provide more relevant examples and specific details to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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