Small shops in towns and villages are closing and replaced by big stores. Explain your opinion. Do you think it is good or bad?

#shops #towns #villages #stores

Nowadays, in many

reural

Correct your spelling

rural

and semi-urban

locations

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,locations

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tiny stores are undergoing closure and are being replaced by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

supermarts. In my

opinion

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,opinion

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this

is not a good thing for many merchants. Because they undergo tremendous financial crisis as

this

is their only source of income.

Firstly

, the foremost factor

that is

causing the closing is better deals in the wholesale shops.

Further

this

drives a great stake of citizens away from them as they prefer discounts over retail

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

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Secondly

, it has become a trend now where people buy at the supermarkets rather than from a

Correct your spelling

roadside

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road side

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roadside

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seller as it lets them

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apply

show examples

flaunt the pictures taken inside the building on social media.

For example

, many teenagers are

persudaing

Correct your spelling

persuading

pursuing

their parents to take them to those massive complexes so that they can take pictures of themselves there.

Thus

, many

such

factors are causing merchants to go bankrupt.

On the other hand

, choosing wholesales over retailers is

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

to the customers due to the fact that they can save

significant

Add an article

a significant

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amount on the bill.

As a result

, though these are located very far away people still travel to those places and do shopping. To illustrate it

further

, these sellers have become a boon to my friends as they live on a tiny monthly budget.

Moreover

, these places act as an all in one where even the food, clothing and movies are

also

made available.So, it

beomes

Correct your spelling

becomes

an attractive option

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for

show examples

many. In conclusion, with time people tend to think smartly and prefer places which offer discounts.

However

, in order to encourage the native businessmen as they are the sole

Correct your spelling

breadwinners

show examples

bread winners

Correct your spelling

breadwinners

show examples

for their families citizens should

also

consider buying from them as it indirectly encourages local development due to the fact that bigger malls belong to other countries and money goes overseas.

Submitted by manojvamc on Fri Oct 29 2021

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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