IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes, others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #governments #money #sports #facilities #athletes
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Although
Linking Words
 it is sometimes thought that
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
 should allocate more
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
facilitiesfor
Correct your spelling
facilities for
facilities
 elite
athletes
Use synonyms
,other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the focus should be on
sports
Use synonyms
 facilities for
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public.In my opinion,I consider that the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should spend
money
Use synonyms
 to improve their sporting facilities because many
athletes
Use synonyms
 rely heavily on
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 financing and
infastracture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
. On the one hand,a number of
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 should allocate more
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 facilities for
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
athletes
Use synonyms
 and I agree.In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
,to be able to play
thier
Correct your spelling
their
sports
Use synonyms
 efficiently on international stages,
athletes
Use synonyms
 must engage in rigorous training and need specialized equipment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, investing in the development of existing players has a lesser risk of wasting
money
Use synonyms
 and more possibilities of bringing positive results for the country.
On the other hand
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, despite a few advantages of financing sportsmen, providing the public with various athletics amenities can be more beneficial for any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.
As a result
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, more potential sportsmen will come out and play for the nation.
Secondly
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, better gaming amenities are one of the prerequisite conditions for maintaining the good physical fitness of the public.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to burn their calories from playing outdoor games.
Moreover
Linking Words
, playing strenuous games can protect folk from getting affected by different diseases.
Therefore
Linking Words
, establishing
sports
Use synonyms
 infrastructures for the general individuals can bring a wide range of advantages for a state. In conclusion, while
people
Use synonyms
 may vary in their opinions ,I think that the government should facilitate the common
people
Use synonyms
 that will help the nation to find out the best potential sportsmen. In the future, top-class sportspersons can be found
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 these common
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ok4eee on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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