IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that for a hobby to be enjoyable it should be hard to acquire or learn. Do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #hobby
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One of the heated issues is many people believe that for an activity to be
fun
Use synonyms
 it should be difficult to get or study.
However
Linking Words
, someone may claim that should be easier to learn and get enjoyment
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same
time
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, there are both advantages and disadvantages that for a hobby to have
fun
Use synonyms
 should be easy to learn. It is generally accepted that some individuals think that a hobbit can help the individuals to
changing
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 to add knowledge.
For example
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, many
children
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 can study how to read as well when they are taking
time
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 to read some books.
Moreover
Linking Words
, someone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to have more skills than
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 original skills.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good readers need to improve their writing so they have to practice
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Change the word
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the disadvantages are
also
Linking Words
 the
children
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 will gain a lot of
fun
Use synonyms
 but they are do not understand and use the free times to have the benefits and knowledge. To illustrate, some adults like to watch movies but they are receiving just a
fun
Use synonyms
 thing in a movie so
that is
Linking Words
Correct article usage
a wasted
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wasted
Replace the word
waste
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 of
time
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are a lot of movies that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
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 there.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, for the people around the world who are spending
time
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 for doing something they like and it can help them receive many
knowledges
Change the wording
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 and
fun
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 in the same moment
such
Linking Words
 as playing board games, they will have many skills to find out to be the winner. in some families are contribute their
children
Use synonyms
 to
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
show examples
 with their friends and
that
Linking Words
is quite trouble
Change the verb form
is quite troubling
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
, if their friends are talking about something
that is
Linking Words
 a crime or about the drugs All in all, for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people, there is more agreement than disagreement to make the hobbits to be enjoyable and get to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same moment.
Submitted by Kookkikpamika on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of accomplishment
  • overcoming obstacles
  • gratifying
  • continuous source of enjoyment
  • relaxing activities
  • unwind and de-stress
  • counterproductive
  • mental break
  • subjective
  • personal preference
What to do next:
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