Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been argued that
wether
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whether
show examples
humanities
subjects
have the same importance
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
other
subjects
at the early age of the
child
. I
strong
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strongly
show examples
agree that art’s
subjects
are extremely crucial for
child
development
this
is because itself will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
them to discover new things and will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
to grow faster mentally. The main reason why I believe that humanities
subjects
are important for
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
at earliest age is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
itself will helps
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
to discover new things. In fact,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
are extremely curious beings and
itself
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
is the same for kids. Kids are curious and love to try, explore, and test new things;
therefore
, art’s
subjects
are the best tool for them to apply these human traits.
Hence
, these attempts will have discovered what
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
like or dislike, so spending
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
in these
subjects
will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
them to discover their talents, gifts, and most importantly to discover themselves. Another reason why I think that schools should treat
humanites
Correct your spelling
humanities
humanity
subjects
the same importance
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
science is because itself will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
to
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
. In fact, many psychologists suggest that
perants
Correct your spelling
parents
should give painting’s
gkit
Correct your spelling
kit
grit
for their
child
because
this
activity will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
for their mind’s growth.
Moreover
,
human’s
Correct article usage
the human’s
show examples
brain
has two
hamisephers
Correct your spelling
hemispheres
– the left and the right
brain
-
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
one operates with logic and the
second
one with
visual
Fix the agreement mistake
visuals
show examples
.
Thus
,
humanites
Correct your spelling
humanities
subjects
catalyze each
parts
Change to a singular noun
part
show examples
of
kid’s
Correct article usage
a kid’s
show examples
brain
which means that
itself
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
will have grown
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
brain
by the time they do
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of activities. In conclusion, I completely admit that art’s courses are
exteremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
important as other courses
this
is because itself will make them more curious and itself healthy for
child
growth. Given the
situation
Add a comma
,situation
show examples
I highly urge primary schools to give
humanites
Correct your spelling
humanities
humanity
subjects
the same importance of the science
subjects
because both of these
subjects
are important for the
child
’s development.
Submitted by kofaisal on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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