IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar,which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

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There are several types of health issues that are happening Because of them using different sugary products. These foods or drinks have made with a high quantity of
sugar
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. It is often consumed that, The price of sugary products should be increased. In
this
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 ,way they will prefer to decrease their
Sugar
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 use. Personally, I think that it may not be The best solution for that problem. It is a kind of desecrate to
people
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 when they Forced to buy less
sugar
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. They might prefer to have a chance For making decisions about doing it or not. So in
this
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 ,way they tend to feel annoying because someone else had decided about their life.
Then
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 they might become angry and object to
this
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 happening.
For example
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,
Last
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 year
people
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 were protected because the vegetable oils price become expensive. Some
people
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 need
sugar
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 for their body
Such
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 as
people
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 who are suffering from diabetes So they need to consume an amount of
sugar
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 Which is going to need a lot of money. Some
people
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 from all around the world might not be able to pay
this
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 much. Is in
this
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 way not only
this
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 not going to help them, But
also
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 the state of their own illness will become worse. To conclude,
although
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this
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 Suggestion might decrease using these types of products, It can result in It's making
people
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 sad and uncomfortable. There are several other ways for encouraging
people
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 to use less of
this
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 product like teaching them about
sugar
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's drawbacks

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
What to do next:
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