Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are different options in children’s
decision
making in their life. Some individuals accept that teenagers who can choose cuisine, garments as well as amusement make freedom judgement result in
changed
Correct article usage
a changed
show examples
personality as selfish who concentrate particularly own
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
However
,
others
argue that making decisions
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
standard in planning livelihood which is learnt from accomplishment and failure. In my opinion, I agree with
this
statement that parents should provide self-determination in growing to be a good adult and
also
will discuss both these points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
.
To begin
with, the parents provide an independent judgement without
Correct article usage
the parent’s
show examples
parent’s
Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
show examples
opinion, so it causes
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ignorance feeling of
others
. Most individuals have been self-confident and overlook to
Add an article
the emotion
an emotion
show examples
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
of
others
such
as families and collages.
For example
, my best friend who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been friends for ten years is confident and hot-headed. When she was a president of sports day and must
Correct article usage
a decision
show examples
decision
Replace the word
decide
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
that day
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to do with
others
, she did not acquire other opinions and
aggressive
Add a missing verb
was aggressive
show examples
with friends who opposed
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her aspect.
Consequently
, she did not have
comrade
Correct article usage
a comrade
show examples
when she was an adolescent and
this
sort of personality is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
difficult to be in society.
On the other hand
, individuals who can their own decisions still boost in
election
Add an article
the election
show examples
of occupations and studies. Those who looking for a piece of knowledge comprise judgement what they concentrate
and
Change preposition
on and
show examples
have a benefit for themselves.
For instance
, my older brother paid attention to mechanical engineer and
entranced
Add a missing verb
was entranced
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
major.
Moreover
, he accomplished in the competition
that is
level of Southeast Asia and creation of a
huge
Change the adjective
hugely
show examples
innovative company in developing the advance technologies.
Therefore
, children who
decision
freely would have
creativity
Replace the word
created
show examples
more than those who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
controlled by
mindset
Add an article
the mindset
a mindset
show examples
of
others
. To summarize, teenagers should obtain opportunities in choosing whether livelihood or education in favour of learning experience from real life and apply
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
in the future.
Hence
, parents need to motivate their youth in making
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
by themselves.
Submitted by tugsaphorn.sun on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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