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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, governments are investing heavily in renewable energy sources such as solar and wind power.Do you think the benefits of renewable energy outweigh the drawbacks?

#countries #governments #energy #sources #wind #power
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In the face of dwindling fossil fuels and rising environmental concerns, the exploration of renewable
energy
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sources
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 like solar and
wind
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 power has become a global priority.
While
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 the transition to these alternatives presents its own set of challenges, the long-term benefits for the environment and our
energy
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 security are undeniable. One of the most compelling advantages of renewables is their environmental sustainability. Unlike fossil fuels, solar and
wind
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 power do not produce greenhouse gases, a major contributor to climate change.
This
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 shift can significantly reduce carbon footprints and mitigate the negative impact on our planet's health.
Additionally
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, renewable
sources
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 are naturally replenished, unlike finite resources like coal or oil.
This
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 ensures a more sustainable and long-term
energy
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 supply.
However
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, renewable
energy
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 is not without its drawbacks. Integrating these technologies into existing infrastructure can be expensive, requiring upfront investment in solar panels,
wind
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 turbines, and
energy
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 storage solutions.
Furthermore
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, these
sources
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 can be variable depending on weather conditions.
For instance
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, solar panels generate less
energy
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 on cloudy days, and
wind
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 turbines require sufficient
wind
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 speeds to operate effectively. Despite these challenges, advancements in technology are continuously making renewable
energy
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 more efficient and cost-effective. Battery storage solutions are improving, allowing for greater capture and utilization of generated power.
Additionally
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, research and development
is
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are
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 leading to more efficient turbines and solar panels, maximizing
energy
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 production and reducing reliance on traditional
sources
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the initial costs and variability of renewable
energy
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sources
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 can be drawbacks, their environmental benefits and long-term sustainability are far too significant to ignore. As technology advances and costs decrease, the advantages of clean, sustainable
energy
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 will become even more pronounced. Governments are right in prioritizing these solutions, for they represent a path towards a healthier planet and a more secure
energy
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 future.
Submitted by aizered097 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the benefits and drawbacks of renewable energy. To enhance your task response, consider including more specific examples or case studies to further illustrate the points you are making.
task achievement
Your essay exhibits clear and comprehensive ideas, and you have nicely balanced the discussion of both positive and negative aspects. To improve further, you might elaborate slightly more on the drawbacks to ensure a thoroughly balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph transitions smoothly and contributes to the overall argument. To elevate your coherence and cohesion, consider using more complex linking phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You effectively support your main points with relevant information. To improve this further, try adding more specific data, studies, or real-world examples to back up your claims. This will enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.
coherence cohesion
Clear and logical structure that makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
Balanced discussion of both the benefits and drawbacks of renewable energy.
task achievement
Good explanation of key points and why they are important.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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