In many cities around the world pollution levels have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have?

Nowadays, a considerable
number
of individuals have been suffered from the higher and higher rates of pollution for a time being. Rather than ignoring
this
imperative issue,
this
essay will deeply explain both causes and effects related to
this
problem in the following paragraphs: One of the major reasons making verious cities become more polluted goes to the fact that despite of electricity cars are now available for sale, the price of those vehicles is so high that a limited
number
of people could afford them, resulting in more and more oil-used cars are driven for transportation. To illuestrate, higher automobiles are used, more Carbon dioxide, which is the toxic gas, will be launched. Take the use of manufacturing trucks
for instance
; as the increase of ones demanding for more facilities, these truck are more used for delivering goods from factories to various markets.
Moreover
,
this
emission issue address a huge
number
of effects: health, and globle warming. First and foremost effect from pollution is respitory disease. Lung cancer,
for example
, has been the major problem for those who spend their time travelling on the road, particulary drivers;
furthermore
, it can be overtly observe that the higher temperature has been ocurred across the globe
due to
those toxic gases produced by human, resulting in more and more
number
of animals,
such
as pollar bears, become disapeared. In the light of these rearons and effects of emission, it can be conclude that if people can reduce their use of oil vehicles, lesser
number
of related pollution: disease and higher temperature, will incur to help our humankind and other livings.
Submitted by giftsuvichaya1702 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay provides a basic structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion are cursory and could be further developed to clearly state your position and summarise your main points.
logical structure
Ideas need to be more clearly organised and transitions between paragraphs and sentences smoother. Logical connectors and topic sentences should be employed to guide the reader through your argument more effectively. Consistent use of either past or present tense throughout the essay would also contribute to a more coherent composition.
supported main points
Main points are presented but are not always well-supported. It is necessary to include more specific examples and clearer explanations to support your arguments. Aim to expand on your ideas with precise evidence or elaboration.
clear comprehensive ideas
You addressed the task by discussing the causes and effects of pollution in cities. However, the response could be more comprehensive by directly linking back to the essay question to ensure all aspects are covered sufficiently. Clarity and depth of the main ideas can be enhanced for a more compelling argument.
relevant specific examples
While you have attempted to provide examples, they remain rather generic and lack specificity. To improve, include more specific, relevant examples that are directly related to the points you are making, which will help to demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
complete response
While your essay touches upon the reasons for and effects of pollution, it is important to fully address the question by expanding on your ideas and providing a more detailed discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • contaminants
  • respiratory illnesses
  • smog
  • carcinogens
  • sustainability
  • aerosols
  • ecosystem degradation
  • wastewater treatment
  • green initiatives
  • carbon footprint
  • urban sprawl
  • renewable energy
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