IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries,the number of shooting increase because many people have guns at home.To what extent do you agree?Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer

In many ,nations the figure of those being gunned down has increased significantly owing to the fact that many
individuals
Use synonyms
 own
guns
Use synonyms
 at their residential places.The increased shooting is due to high level of crimes and
also
Linking Words
 the government have given
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 for the citizen to own
guns
Use synonyms
. Several factors have led to
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased gunshot in the residential areas.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the increased crime rate has enabled many people to have
guns
Use synonyms
 in their homes.
consequently
Linking Words
, any issue of trespassing will result in
individuals
Use synonyms
 pooling the trigger,with the sole reason of protecting the family or the belongings.
Secondly
Linking Words
,the state has
also
Linking Words
 made a provision allowing the members of the public to own
guns
Use synonyms
 for protection especially politicians.
This
Linking Words
 has seen many stray bullets hitting innocent
individuals
Use synonyms
.According to experts,90% of hospitalised
gun
Use synonyms
 wounds are
as a result
Linking Words
 of stray bullets encountered during political rallies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the level of crimes and the state allowing the provision to hold
guns
Use synonyms
 have increased the shooting incidences.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the penalties associated with shooting have deterred many
individuals
Use synonyms
 to pull the trigger in the homesteads,
Linking Words
instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
show examples
 using the judicial procedures if involved in crimes.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the sophisticated procedure and fear of the unknown in the shooting has not made it possible for people to shoot
thus
Linking Words
 reducing the number of
gun
Use synonyms
 sounds in the respective homes.
For example
Linking Words
,my neighbour started trembling when he was faced with thieves and in the end was not able to pull the trigger.
Thus
Linking Words
, a complication associated with the
gun
Use synonyms
 has made others not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
use the
gun
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,The government should provide adequate security to the members of the public in order to reduce the number of people owning
guns
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 incidences related to the
ammunitions
Correct your spelling
ammunition
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: