Topic: Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#topic #people #children #time #school #activities #art #music #classes #sports

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Some people believe that

children

's have the capacity to learn a lot when they are young, that's the reason for many parents consider to subscribe them in many extra scholar

activities

On the other

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

some

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that the kids need to have free time to play and relax. It

is well know

Change the verb form

is well known

show examples

that the greatest artist(

musician

Fix the agreement mistake

musicians

show examples

, dancers, singers) or

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

championships started since they were

children

. These professional people developed their skills since they were very young.

Additionally

, the

children

that practice extra artistic

activities

allow them to develop more their brains

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and make more neurons

conexions

Correct your spelling

connexions

connections

In contrast

, if the

children

have an excess of extra

activities

, it could provoke stress and anxiety in

children

For example

, in

Japan

Add a comma

,Japan

show examples

there are the most known cases

about

Change preposition

show examples

children

suicide

as a result

, the excess of extra

activities

and parents' pressure. My opinion is to have an equilibrium not so many extra

activities

, and not be lazy time. Getting a profit that the

children

have more

cappacity

Correct your spelling

capacity

to learn easily can allow

to do

Change the verb form

doing

show examples

some extra

activities

, depending on the child's interest, that can be an artistic activity or sports activity. As a parent, I have to be aware of the interest and abilities of the child.

Furthermore

leave some free time to play freely, allow the child to be happy and relax.

Submitted by salmaraz on Mon Nov 01 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

224 words

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Topic: Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays in many countries, people are following the latest fashion, hairstyle and so on.what is influenced this? Is it a positive or a negative development.

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished and what measure can be taken to tackle this problem?