IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #people #crime #education #criminals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, crime has become one of the most detrimental problems to society and the most popular solution in most nations to deal with
this
Linking Words
 issue is prison.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals convince us that being well-educated could prevent illegal actions in the future. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will support it for 2 following reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a greater education can give people a chance to have a high-paid job which can eliminate their criminal potential. It goes without saying that with a stable job, individuals will need significant time to work in order to keep up with the high productivity of companies, so they will not have time to commit a crime.
For example
Linking Words
, the crime rate of Singapore which has the best tuition in the world is 10%,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, in the Philippines,
this
Linking Words
 rate is 40%. There is no doubt that effective education can stop society from becoming criminals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the school can enhance students’ knowledge of the law. In fact, nowadays, the government always adds to the educational programs a large number of moral lessons which are used to teach pupils about law and behaviour standards. Undoubtedly, in the future, they will be more aware of the consequences of guilt and have a tendency to not participate in illegal actions. As held by the opponent, some crowd say that whether people become a prisoner or not is decided by their environmental factors
such
Linking Words
 as family and neighbourhood, and it can not be affected by school or university. No one can deny
this
Linking Words
 idea, but with an education which is good enough children can have the ability to know what is the right thing and they will not be impacted by their surrounding environment.
Submitted by bachdatcuber on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: