IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that we should knock down old
buildings
Use synonyms
 and build modern ones because too much money has been spent looking after and repairing them.
Although
Linking Words
 it is true that one can spend a lot of money to restore and look after the old
buildings
Use synonyms
, I strongly disagree that we should just destroy them and build a new one
instead
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we cannot deny that old
buildings
Use synonyms
 have a lot of memories that are really precious for their owners.
For instance
Linking Words
, my house is more than 50 years old and was built when my grandmother was still a kid. It contains the memories from three generations including me, my parents and my grandparents. Every room always reminds me of a certain memory, making me remember my
root
Fix the agreement mistake
roots
show examples
 and who I am.
This
Linking Words
 kind of feeling is so treasured and no amount of money is too expensive for
this
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, old
buildings
Use synonyms
 have a cultural value that can be used to showcase their history.
For example
Linking Words
, there are several old
buildings
Use synonyms
 in my country that are being restored and transformed into museums
such
Linking Words
 as Fatahillah, a museum that was built when the Dutch ruled my country. Fatahillah Museum now become the main destination for students to learn about the history, culture and architectural aspects of when Indonesia was still ruled by the Dutch, a hundred years ago.
This
Linking Words
 kind of experience is meaningful and will not happen if old
buildings
Use synonyms
 are destroyed. In conclusion, I do believe that old
buildings
Use synonyms
 have a special value. Repairing and looking after them is worth the price,
hence
Linking Words
 we should not knock down the old building nor replace them with a modern one.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary Enhancement
To further enhance your essay, consider varying your vocabulary more to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider linguistic range. While your essay is very strong already, this would just add that extra layer of polish.
Argument Depth
Exploring counterarguments briefly before refuting them can add depth to your argumentation, making your essay even more persuasive. While you've shown a strong stance, acknowledging opposing views strengthens your position.
Task Response
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, providing a clear stance and well-articulated reasons supporting your viewpoint.
Use of Examples
You've effectively used examples from personal and historical perspectives to support your argument, making your essay engaging and convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization of your essay is exemplary, with a logical structure and smooth transitions that guide the reader effortlessly through your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preservation
  • Restoration
  • Demolition
  • Architectural heritage
  • Cultural significance
  • Tourist attraction
  • Urban landscape
  • Sustainability
  • Conservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Historical landmarks
  • Urban renewal
  • Infrastructure
  • Maintenance costs
  • Modern amenities
  • Building regulations
  • Community identity
  • Heritage conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: