IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some argue that teachers should focus on academics more than motivating students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some assert that teachers should prioritize enhancing
students
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' academic performance over encouraging them. I disagree with
this
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notion
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, considering equitability in
society
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. First and foremost, one compelling argument supporting the former
notion
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 is that the educational focus can develop the
overall
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 quality of life in
society
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. To illustrate, unlike a teaching approach assisting all
students
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,
this
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 intensive approach is more likely to enhance academic results among some
students
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, especially those who are able to keep up with the learning speed teachers offer.
This
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 means that a part of the
students
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 can gain more advanced knowledge.
As a result
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, they might contribute
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further
Change preposition
to further
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 development in technology and services in the future.
In other words
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, by providing
such
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 lectures, citizens will be able to lead a more convenient life.
Therefore
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, academic-oriented lectures play a pivotal role in fostering the
overall
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 quality of life in the long run. Despite the advantages of the former, one key
notion
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 in
favor
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favour
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 of the latter is that motivating young learners can promote their confidence and interpersonal skills, which academic-oriented classes may find
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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challenging to offer. Specifically, low-achievers tend to cease learning academic subjects during formative years by comparing themselves to high-achievers.
Nevertheless
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, researchers have mentioned that nowadays,
due to
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 the advent of AI technology, the dynamics of the workplace and lifestyle have
also
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 transformed. To clarify,
although
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 achievement in academics mostly ensured financial stability in the past, individuals require distinctive competencies.
Therefore
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, motivating the youth has the potential to enhance
such
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 soft skills that are essential in today's
society
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. In conclusion, I firmly disagree with
this
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notion
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, since I believe that considering pursuing an equitable
society
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, the benefits of the latter
notion
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 would outweigh the advantages of the former.

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task achievement
Clarify your main arguments more explicitly in your introduction to make it clearer how you will develop your points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow of ideas and maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your claims about the benefits of motivation vs. academics, such as studies or statistics.
coherence and cohesion
Strong conclusion that clearly restates your position and summarizes your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of transitions to guide the reader through your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • motivational strategies
  • foundational understanding
  • engagement
  • dynamic learning environment
  • well-rounded students
  • long-term benefits
  • personal drive
  • educational experience
  • emotional support
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