IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person’s #culture #character #choice #clothes
Most
people
 are of the opinion that they can judge somebody by their dressing sense. As far as I am concerned, I do admit that a person not totally can be assumed by his clothes.
This
 essay will explore my view in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
.
First
 of all, in the era of globalization, where
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
show examples
 all over the planet run after trends, it is hard to distinguish a blind sheep who wants to imitate a fashion idol or real trend starter. In fact, fashion forces to build a mindset to grab new culture and look,
nevertheless
 there is a belief that
people
 are raising their mentality. To illustrate, my fashionable friend Asem at
first
 glance looks like she just came from
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, so stylish and different, but she never was overseas
,
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apply
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 and does not English.
Secondly
 in my point of view is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
working class
Add a hyphen
working-class
show examples
 of
people
 have a uniform, where the is less square for creativity in the fact that breaching dress code in some companies can lead to dismissal.
For instance
, my husband work at
oil
Correct article usage
an oil
show examples
 and gas company, where 28 of work he has to wear
special
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a special
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 uniform, like other 1500
people
 there.
However
, 1500
people
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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 the same, everyone has
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 dreams and character.
Thus
, means that
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 class cannot be judged by its dressing.
Last
 but not least, various factors in
life
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the life
show examples
 of the person affect his clothes preferences.
For example
, when I was young, I used to wear the
last
 fashion high heels and leather mini skirts until I become pregnant. There is not too much choice for pregnant women, and when I become a mom, for me
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 comfortable ahead of being stylish.
This
 does not mean that I have changed my culture or character, I have just changed my preference. To sum up, even though some might argue with me saying they can judge at
first
 appearance, I would disagree believing it is totally inaccurate to value a person as an individual.
Submitted by sabina.tazhibeko on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • garments
  • traditional attire
  • sartorial choices
  • expressive style
  • cultural identity
  • psychological implications
  • non-verbal cues
  • globalization
  • perceptions
  • professional demeanor
  • societal norms
  • economic constraints
  • subcultures
  • fashion movements
  • individualism
  • stereotype
What to do next:
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