IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

You have recently used the services of a moving company. At the new place you found out that some of your items were badly damaged. Write a letter to the company manager including the following: Give details of your move List items that were damaged Say what you expect the manager to do

#services #company #place #items #manager #move #list
Dear Manager, I am Tajinder Singh, moved recently and used your moving company's services. I am writing
this
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with the assistance provided by you as I found some damaged items
while
 unpacking them. To commence with, I shifted to my new house on February 15, 2024, within a radius of 10 kilometres in Brampton. I booked an appointment for two helpers and a truck for a full day because I have some heavy furniture
that is
 difficult for me to move alone. On the same day, when I opened the box of my TV at night; I was shocked to see a big crack on the screen.
Moreover
, It is a brand-new television and cost me a fortune.
However
, I would like to make a formal complaint to your firm for
this
 damage. during the payment, I
also
 read all the documents very carefully allowing me to claim 90% of the total cost of the broken product. So, I would appreciate it if you could look into
this
 matter at your earliest convenience. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Tajinder Singh
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

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Task Achievement
You have effectively addressed all the key elements required by the task. However, for an even better task response, consider providing a more detailed list of the items that were damaged, besides the TV, as the prompt requests a list of damaged items.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your letter showcases a clear structure, with separate paragraphs dedicated to introduction, detail of the move, the damages, and the expected resolution, which is excellent for logical structure. To enhance coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words to smoothly transition between your ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate, polite, and well-suited to the context of a formal letter. For a perfect score, maintain this level of professionalism in all formal communications.
Task Achievement
The tone of your letter is suitably formal, fitting the context of writing to a company manager. To further improve, you could explicitly state your expectations from the manager, such as a refund or replacement, to make your request clearer.
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