Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. What are the reasons for parents doing that? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Granted that parents do expect their
children
Use synonyms
to lead a successful life, they put them under constant
pressure
Use synonyms
to perform. Generally, I believe that being under
such
Linking Words
intense
pressure
Use synonyms
can have serious consequences in multiple areas for
children
Use synonyms
.  Many
children
Use synonyms
are taught to compete with each other from their earliest memory so as to survive and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
excel. It is true that stiff competition begins
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
primary school where students have
to begin
Linking Words
to
remain
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
good academic performance in order to enter a prestigious university later on. Protecting
children
Use synonyms
from heart-breaking rejections is a parents’ special privilege believed by many.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes they hold the expectations too high for
children
Use synonyms
to live up to.  One major adverse consequence of imposing too much
pressure
Use synonyms
on
children
Use synonyms
is that they may easily form a negative attitude
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
learning, which will exert a life-long impact. Many parents have a distorted recognition that the purpose of receiving an education is simply to guarantee a future career, and
therefore
Linking Words
gaining an edge in the job market is the only goal that motivates
children
Use synonyms
to work hard. In
this
Linking Words
case, examinations are widely used as the sole educational assessment to evaluate the learning process, and
children
Use synonyms
focus only on what is likely to be tested;
thus
Linking Words
, the educational experience is narrowed to a large extent, which can easily discourage the interest in learning.  Another disastrous influence is that
children
Use synonyms
who are under a high amount of stress are at a greater risk of developing depression or other mental or physical health conditions. When
children
Use synonyms
are dealing with the constant goal-setting by parents, they are digesting high levels of anxiety. Fear of failure can stop them from taking up new tasks or even completing the ones at hand. It can create unhealthy defiance that  leads to self-doubt or even unsatisfied adulthood. Issues,
such
Linking Words
as sleep deprivation, eating disorders, and loss of interest in hobbies are all among the consequences of excess stress.
Hence
Linking Words
, parental
pressure
Use synonyms
may bring forth a nervous breakdown.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
a secure family environment is considered a bare necessity for the healthy growth and development of
children
Use synonyms
, there is a fine line between caring and caring too much.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion. Key points are supported with relevant examples, although some areas could be further developed.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is generally well-maintained, but there could be stronger coherence in connecting ideas and expanding on certain points. The introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose effectively.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and employs a variety of expressions effectively. However, a more precise choice of words and attention to collocations can enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a generally accurate and varied use of complex structures and sentence types. However, there are instances of errors in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure that need to be addressed for a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: