IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #citizens’ #health #environment
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These days, most scientific
research
Use synonyms
 activities are funded and undertaken by private companies
instead
Linking Words
 of the government.
Although
Linking Words
 there are several benefits from
this
Linking Words
 trend, its drawbacks are more significant. On the one hand, private funding helps scientific
research
Use synonyms
 to be conducted without interruptions caused by significant government budget cuts. Reduced state funding in the recent decade has led scientists to be insufficiently paid and
research
Use synonyms
 activities to be constantly delayed.
Furthermore
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, private funders usually are risk-takers and,
therefore
Linking Words
, more willing to provide bigger financial assistance.
This
Linking Words
 means that
research
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 institutes are able to afford better facilities and equipment that allow them to be more efficient and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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produce more accurate outcomes.
Also
Linking Words
, scientists would be more well-paid for their work and
hence
Linking Words
 more motivated to undertake their researches.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is difficult to ensure the reliability of
research
Use synonyms
 outcomes when private entities are the funders.
Research
Use synonyms
 institutes have to agree upon the terms and conditions dictated by the companies that pay them and act
accordingly
Linking Words
. It means that the final
research
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 results may be manipulated towards the direction
that is
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favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 for the funders.
Consequently
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, scientific
research
Use synonyms
 activities could be turned into profit-driven programs that benefit only a handful of organizations
instead
Linking Words
 of society as a whole. In conclusion, the downsides of the increasing reliance on private,
instead
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 of
government
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the government
a government
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, funding to conduct scientific researches are greater than the advantages due to the concern over the integrity of
such
Linking Words
 researches.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral obligation
  • advanced treatments
  • economic benefits
  • workforce
  • healthcare costs
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • comprehensive benefits
  • investment
  • global sustainability
  • long-term health security
  • disease proliferation
What to do next:
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