IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can causo serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language #causo
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It is clear that living in a foreign
country
 has its own benefits and drawbacks to consider. I agree with
this
 statement,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 I think that anybody coming
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 another
country
 should respect
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
culture
. In
this
 essay, I would like to outline the social and practical problems. The social problems would be
language
Add an article
a language
the language
show examples
 barrier, which means that a
person
 coming from another
country
 might not be able to speak and understand the
language
 which might be a problem as far a
person
 who is living in a
country
, and a
person
 who came in the
country
 Another problem is linked to the
language
 barrier, but it might influence the behaviour of others. An individual who
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 into the
country
 might offend others with their behaviour or
language
.
For example
; some
cultures
 like English
people
 prefer to be very polite and say things differently from other
cultures
.
Therefore
 a
person
 who doesn't know how to behave in a particular
culture
 might offend others around him. The practical
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 would be
misunderstanding
Add an article
a misunderstanding
show examples
 of
culture
. That means that a
person
 who visits other countries does not understand other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and he behaves as he wants to. The
second
 practical problem is finding a job. An individual who works in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
 might not be appropriate for
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
who
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whom
show examples
 he serves.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 if an individual works in a restaurant, the
people
 who live in a
country
 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were born in that
country
 might not respect and not like the behaviour of a
person
 who works in a restaurant, it might be because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
cultures
 are different. To summarize, it can be said that there are a lot of misconceptions which
people
 have when they come
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a foreign
country
, and in my opinion and from my personal experience
people
 should educate themselves in order to know how to behave in different situations with different
cultures
.
Submitted by neginooblack on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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