Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
While
some may argue that the traits we are born with have a stronger influence on personality
and development, I believe that experiences
play a far more significant role. From early childhood to adulthood, the environments we interact with, the people we meet, and the challenges we face shape our personalities and personal growth. In this
essay, I will say that it is these experiences
that have the greatest influence rather than innate traits.
To start with, one of the first ways we develop is through imitation, which is a form of learning from experience
. For instance
, most children closely observe and imitate their parents' habits, speech, and behavior
. As they grow up, they may find that their mannerisms and routines closely resemble those of their parents or caregivers, even if they were not born with the same tendencies. Change the spelling
behaviour
As a result
, environmental factors and experiences
are crucial in shaping a child’s personality
, often molding
it in ways that genetics alone cannot.
What's more, Change the spelling
moulding
while
it is true that people are born with certain personality
traits, they are not unchangeable. Take my own experience
as an example. Take me for example
, I was naturally shy and uncomfortable engaging in conversations with strangers. However
, when I started working as an investment advisor at a bank and played a role that required me to frequently communicate with clients, I was forced to confront this
shyness. Over time, through practice and experience
, I developed strong communication skills and became more confident in social situations. This
transformation was a result of experience
, not an inherent personality
change.
In conclusion, while
we are all born with certain characteristics, our life experiences
have a far greater impact on shaping our personality
and development. The ability to learn, adapt, and grow through life’s challenges and opportunities proves that experiences
are the key drivers of personal growth and transformation.Submitted by aksoysana on
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task response
The essay provides a thorough argument supporting the claim that experiences have a more substantial impact than innate traits. However, you could enhance your response by explicitly acknowledging counterarguments or acknowledging the role of inherent characteristics more explicitly before refuting it with your examples.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of the essay is generally clear. Each paragraph follows a coherent structure, making it easy to follow. However, you might benefit from using more linking words or phrases to strengthen transitions between points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay effectively presents a balanced structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are well-established and supported with examples.
task response
You provided relevant personal examples, enhancing the credibility and relatability of your arguments. This enriches your essay and makes your points more persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite