Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#research #characteristics #influence #personality #development #experiences #life

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While

some may argue that the traits we are born with have a stronger influence on

personality

and development, I believe that

experiences

play a far more significant role. From early childhood to adulthood, the environments we interact with, the people we meet, and the challenges we face shape our personalities and personal growth. In

this

essay, I will say that it is these

experiences

that have the greatest influence rather than innate traits. To start with, one of the first ways we develop is through imitation, which is a form of learning from

experience

For instance

, most children closely observe and imitate their parents' habits, speech, and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. As they grow up, they may find that their mannerisms and routines closely resemble those of their parents or caregivers, even if they were not born with the same tendencies.

As a result

, environmental factors and

experiences

are crucial in shaping a child’s

personality

, often

molding

Change the spelling

moulding

show examples

it in ways that genetics alone cannot. What's more,

while

it is true that people are born with certain

personality

traits, they are not unchangeable. Take my own

experience

as an example. Take me

for example

, I was naturally shy and uncomfortable engaging in conversations with strangers.

However

, when I started working as an investment advisor at a bank and played a role that required me to frequently communicate with clients, I was forced to confront

this

shyness. Over time, through practice and

experience

, I developed strong communication skills and became more confident in social situations.

This

transformation was a result of

experience

, not an inherent

personality

change. In conclusion,

while

we are all born with certain characteristics, our life

experiences

have a far greater impact on shaping our

personality

and development. The ability to learn, adapt, and grow through life’s challenges and opportunities proves that

experiences

are the key drivers of personal growth and transformation.

Submitted by aksoysana on Thu Oct 17 2024

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task response

The essay provides a thorough argument supporting the claim that experiences have a more substantial impact than innate traits. However, you could enhance your response by explicitly acknowledging counterarguments or acknowledging the role of inherent characteristics more explicitly before refuting it with your examples.

coherence and cohesion

The logical flow of the essay is generally clear. Each paragraph follows a coherent structure, making it easy to follow. However, you might benefit from using more linking words or phrases to strengthen transitions between points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay effectively presents a balanced structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are well-established and supported with examples.

task response

You provided relevant personal examples, enhancing the credibility and relatability of your arguments. This enriches your essay and makes your points more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

nature vs. nurture debate
genetic inheritance
personality traits
behavior patterns
heritability
twins studies
malleable characteristics
upbringing
environmental influences
critical periods
language acquisition
worldview
innate traits
personal experiences
psychological development
epigenetics
adaptive behaviors
cultural imprinting
temperament
social conditioning

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?