IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Others think it is important to keep work life completely separate from social life. This essay will discuss both views and present my opinion.

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While
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 some
people
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 think it is an excellent idea to stay in touch with your
colleagues
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 at the weekend and during the evening. Others argue that it is essential to avoid maxing your
work
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life
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 with social
life
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 .
However
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 , I strongly agree that you have to separate your
work
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 relationships from your social
life
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 . On the one hand ,
people
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 believe that getting out with your
colleagues
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 is a good idea for several reasons , the main reason is that most
people
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 looking to strengthen the relationship among
colleagues
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, in order to open up many opportunities for them in terms of , have a promotion
as well as
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 benefits from their experience ,
for instance
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 , spending time with your
colleagues
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 outside the workplace allowing them to know each other in a deep way , so when someone needs help to find a new job or even they want to sit up their business , they can support and consult each other in
this
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 regard.
On the other hand
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 , separating your social
life
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 from your
work
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life
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 is crucial to avoid any future problems . The fact is when
people
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 know everything about each other , especially in
work
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 relationships, someday they will use
this
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 private and important information against them ,
for example
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 , studies have shown that 50 per cent of
people
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 who spend their time with their
colleagues
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 after
work
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 these relationships ended up with
work
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 issue
such
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 as , quit and laid off .
In addition
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 , there are
also
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 negative consequences, regarding employees' personal lives, because as much as you spend time with them they know sensitive things , and they might use it against your
life
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 and attack your family or kids .
To sum up
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, having a good relationship with your colleague is needed to achieve your goals , but
people
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 should not overlook that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excessive
lead
Fix the agreement mistake
leads
show examples
 to destroying your job or even your career ,
therefore
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, I believe that , the balance between both sides is needed

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task achievement
Although the essay effectively covers both viewpoints, ensure that all ideas are fully developed and explained clearly, with more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences to better guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points, helping to make arguments more persuasive and concrete.
task achievement
The essay successfully introduces the topic and presents a clear opinion on the matter, maintaining relevance throughout.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points of the essay while reinforcing the writer's opinion.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of both sides of the debate, contributing to a well-rounded discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • professional boundaries
  • team-building activities
  • mental health
  • cohesive work environment
  • personal development
  • workplace relationships
  • informal networking
  • job satisfaction
  • clear boundaries
  • personal well-being
  • common goals
  • burnout prevention
  • sense of belonging
  • achieving balance
  • privacy maintenance
  • career benefits
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