Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than other people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it's unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sport #professionals #money #people #professions

While most people may think that

sports

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

should earn

money

Correct quantifier usage

more money

show examples

than

professionals

in crucial vocations,some think that it would be an injustice for everyone.

Although

both sides can be argued out,I believe

sports

stars

deserve

this

enormous salary.

To begin

with, a

sports

career

may

last

a short stretch of time.

For example

, a successful athlete may only have ten to fifteen years to compete effectively.

This

is so because of the physical wear and tear

that is

involved with the activities they do. If they are paid huge salaries during

this

short period of their active years,they will be in a position to sustain a better lifestyle and pay bills in

their

Change the word

the

show examples

future.

In addition

, professional

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

stars

are exposed to multiple physical injuries some to an extent of being bedridden.

For instance

, a football star may require specialized treatment in case of a knee injury,in a highly specialised hospital.

This

may be quite expensive for one to afford.

Therefore

, given that

sports

career

lasts only a short while and

stars

are exposed to multiple injuries, their extensive salaries are justified.

However

on the other hand

,other key

professionals

such

as teachers,doctors and engineers should be considered for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

higher pay as well.

For example

, doctors offer essential services that contribute to the development of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society; so to speak a healthy nation is a wealthy nation. As well as

this

,not only do

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

professionals

go out of their way to work under constraining circumstances but

also

seem to receive minimal appreciation from society. Given

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

professionals

also

deserve

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better pay. In conclusion, I believe that enormous salaries for

sports

stars

Change the verb form

are

show examples

justified since they have a short

career

time and as well other

professionals

should receive

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher pay since they offer vital service to society.

Submitted by lyndagrannie on Mon Nov 01 2021

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than other people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it's unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer young leaders, while others think that senior managers have the experience. What do you think?

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Many working people get little or not exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.