Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than other people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it's unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sport #professionals #money #people #professions

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While most people may think that

sports

Use synonyms

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

should earn

money

Correct quantifier usage

more money

show examples

than

professionals

Use synonyms

in crucial vocations,some think that it would be an injustice for everyone.

Although

Linking Words

both sides can be argued out,I believe

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

deserve

this

Linking Words

enormous salary.

To begin

Linking Words

with, a

sports

Use synonyms

career

Use synonyms

may

last

Linking Words

a short stretch of time.

For example

Linking Words

, a successful athlete may only have ten to fifteen years to compete effectively.

This

Linking Words

is so because of the physical wear and tear

that is

Linking Words

involved with the activities they do. If they are paid huge salaries during

this

Linking Words

short period of their active years,they will be in a position to sustain a better lifestyle and pay bills in

their

Change the word

the

show examples

future.

In addition

Linking Words

, professional

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

stars

Use synonyms

are exposed to multiple physical injuries some to an extent of being bedridden.

For instance

Linking Words

, a football star may require specialized treatment in case of a knee injury,in a highly specialised hospital.

This

Linking Words

may be quite expensive for one to afford.

Therefore

Linking Words

, given that

sports

Use synonyms

career

Use synonyms

lasts only a short while and

stars

Use synonyms

are exposed to multiple injuries, their extensive salaries are justified.

However

Linking Words

on the other hand

Linking Words

,other key

professionals

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as teachers,doctors and engineers should be considered for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

higher pay as well.

For example

Linking Words

, doctors offer essential services that contribute to the development of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society; so to speak a healthy nation is a wealthy nation. As well as

this

Linking Words

,not only do

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

professionals

Use synonyms

go out of their way to work under constraining circumstances but

also

Linking Words

seem to receive minimal appreciation from society. Given

this

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

professionals

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

deserve

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better pay. In conclusion, I believe that enormous salaries for

sports

Use synonyms

stars

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

justified since they have a short

career

Use synonyms

time and as well other

professionals

Use synonyms

should receive

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher pay since they offer vital service to society.

Submitted by lyndagrannie on Mon Nov 01 2021

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

exceptional talent
dedication
entertainment value
revenue
ticket sales
advertisements
sponsorships
short-lived career
physical and mental challenges
compensation
limited career span
health risks
financial rewards
disproportionate emphasis
intellectual contributions
social contributions
undervaluing
societal perception
income distribution
valuable

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