IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #impact #people’s #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Bombarding of adverts on various types of
products
Use synonyms
, undoubtedly, has increased significantly in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era. Owing to
this
Linking Words
, thinking of individuals on
this
Linking Words
 play a crucial role as well as it has negatively influenced human's lives. I discord with
this
Linking Words
 assertion up to a higher extent and pertinent notions will explicate it
further
Linking Words
. Commencing with pre-eminent unfavourable aspects. The former viable anatomy is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
effect on the buying decision of consumers. To elaborate more, when various ads are observed by them on distinct platforms whether social media or television or newspaper, they purchased unwanted things, which leads to wastage of hard-earned money. To exemplify, it can be seen in real life, brands hire eminent celebrities to endorse
products
Use synonyms
 to allure the views.
In addition
Linking Words
, the promotion of unacceptable commodities can be heinous to people. Since certain firms sponsor their food items like protein supplements, even alcohol and tobacco by using attractive ways, the more viewers consume these
products
Use synonyms
, the more they suffer in terms of health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, increasing awareness about
products
Use synonyms
 and services among commoners. As people obtain knowledge about the plenty of features whether choices, prices, qualities of any services by seeing the ads plus it is beneficial for sellers for marketing their
products
Use synonyms
 which eventually act as a win-win situation for both. To illustrate, every kind of organisation either small or large scale displays adverts to generate awareness about their commodities among various users. In conclusion, albeit knowing the
products
Use synonyms
' bad and good things from ads is imperative, manipulation of mindset and having badly influenced by billboards is far more not fruitful for the society and communities in leading a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by er.priyagupta123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: