Some people sat that family is the most powerful influence in a child's development. Other's say that other factors such as (Television, friends, music, etc.) play a greater role today. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some of the populations consider that family plays an important role in a child's development. While others think that the media,
such
as television, music, the internet influence children more. In my opinion, I would say that both sides make sense, and it
also
depends on the living environment and parents' educational policy. In the traditional family, fathers used to be a breadwinner, and mothers tend to stay at home and take care of their children. In my personal experience, my parents did not allow me to watch TV nor play online games for most of my childhood. In order to help me pay more attention to the school's subjects, which made me a little bit stressed, but I feel appreciated when I grew up.
However
, spending time in the entertainment properly might
also
help us to become more efficient. As the study says that people's brains need to rest every 35 minutes of paying attention.
On the other hand
, thanks to the development of technology, it becomes easier to absorb information from all kinds of media. The channels today have become more optional but some channels might be not appropriate for kids.
Besides
, youngsters love watching the same programs or listening to a common style of music with their peers. Which brings them a sense of stability. Some of the nations think that a new style of music, like, rap may be unsuitable for young people, due to the violent lyrics.
However
,
that is
also
the way that youth could express themselves. In conclusion, both family and other factors play a great role in children's development. For me, if the parents could teach their kids well and
also
provide them useful information in different ways. It would be helpful for their growth and brings more happiness.
Submitted by i_nconsistency19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: