It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Wealthy
countries
tend to grant
money
to less-developed
countries
in order to solve poverty,
however
, the outcome is unsatisfactory.
Therefore
,
this
prompt suggests that other kinds of help should be given to address
this
issue. I personally agree with the statements and
this
essay will elucidate more arguments to back
this
prompt. I am of the opinion that
money
can slightly solve the problem of penury in a nation, as
money
can afford the residents many facilities to enhance the quality of their lives.
Nevertheless
, in several
countries
, the implementation is not as straightforward as it might seem. Abundant
money
is not a single key to
alleviate
Wrong verb form
alleviating
show examples
destitution,
hence
, it is essential to offer additional solutions. I hold the view that providing the inhabitants with employment sectors is necessary, with the aim of
further
earning
money
for the next chapters of life. Granting
money
to poor
countries
is not sufficient,
due to
the limited amount of
money
. By way of illustration,
money
can run out quickly if the person does not have a stable job to earn income and maintain the
money
. Opening massive job markets for the citizens facilitates them with continuous wages that can foster their well-being,
thus
profiting the
country
with high annual per capita salaries as well.
Additionally
, it is
also
crucial for the
country
to manage the
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
that they have received wisely. Building ample outstanding infrastructures would be advantageous in advancing the state of the
country
, resulting in shaping the
country
to become more developed. Ultimately, it is vital to employ
this
money
for the sake of residents, ensuring that they have stable earnings monthly.
Furthermore
, it is
also
critical for the
country
to establish prominent establishments for the surroundings.
Submitted by syarahfatiha321 on

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Task Achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider integrating more specific examples that illustrate your points. For instance, mentioning a specific country that has successfully utilized non-monetary support for development could make your argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've done well in structuring your essay; to improve, ensure your introduction and conclusion are more explicitly articulated. This will make your essay's beginning and ending stand out, providing a clearer picture to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures and employing a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can add to the coherence and overall readability of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay effectively conveys your opinion and provides a logical structure to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
You've aptly identified alternative solutions to simply providing monetary aid, which shows a good understanding of the essay topic and exhibits clear and comprehensive ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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