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Writing Samples
Band 4

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people
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Nowadays, having
television
Add an article
a television
show examples
 at home is very common. Watching
televsion
Correct your spelling
television
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
 abstain them from going out and meeting
people
Use synonyms
. Though it is the best relaxing
time
Use synonyms
 of the day, it has an adverse
Replace the word
effect
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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 on
people
Use synonyms
's social life. In earlier times,
people
Use synonyms
 used to gather
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 certain days and
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 to spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
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quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their friends and family. Due to the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 a busy schedule
leave
Change the verb form
leaves
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people
Use synonyms
 with very
less
Correct quantifier usage
little
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time
Use synonyms
 to go out and socialise with anyone. After a long day, a person
opt
Change the verb form
opts
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 for some
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
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time
Use synonyms
 to get rid of the whole day's stress and the best and easiest way is to turn on the
TV
Use synonyms
. Since there
are
Change the verb form
is
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of channels that consumes at least an hour or two and you lost the track of your
time
Use synonyms
. Kids and youth are more addicted to the television and they generally avoid going out which makes them a potato couch.
New
Correct article usage
The new
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 generation even
eat
Change the verb form
eats
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 their meal watching
tv
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 and as per the survey, a person
gain
Change the verb form
gains
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 more weight if he eats while watching
tv
Use synonyms
 because he is more
indulge
Wrong verb form
indulged
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 in
tv
Use synonyms
 rather than his meal quantity. Most of the women are addicted
with
Change the preposition
to
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 daily soap and serials that they do not pay much attention to their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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. Television is for one's entertainment, albeit
people
Use synonyms
 are so used to
of
Change preposition
apply
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it that they do not feel
meeting
Change preposition
like meeting
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 their friends outside and just
text
Wrong verb form
texting
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 them while watching it to keep in touch with them. Social life has diminished as
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay home and relax than
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 out.
For example
Linking Words
, after 8 hours working in the office,
people
Use synonyms
 want to relax and
passtime
Correct your spelling
pass time
 at home only and watching
tv
Use synonyms
 you will get
Correct quantifier usage
all every
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every
Correct determiner usage
the
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 information about the world. In conclusion, watching
tv
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 effortless option for everyone to enjoy the
time
Use synonyms
, though it has made them apart from the world.
Submitted by brijal_desai on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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