All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adult. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adult #rise

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One of the most common health issues found in all age groups in

this

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modern world is

obesity

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. A key contributor to

this

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problem is the lack of physical exercise, and it can likely be solved by creating public awareness and an award system. Physical activity plays a huge role in maintaining a healthy weight.

However

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people

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are physically less active nowadays. Before children have smartphones and tablets, they play physical games and participate in the various outdoor games at school and even during the school holidays.

However

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, they play online games or use smartphones

instead

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Similarly

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although

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adults used to have to walk or ride a bicycle to their offices in the old days, they can now conveniently drive to their workplaces or call for a taxi pickup service from home. They used to have to walk to meal places but they can now place a meal order which will be delivered to their home. Less physically active

people

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tend to be overweight. One way to reduce

obesity

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is to make

people

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aware of the problems that obese

people

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would face.

Obesity

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is not just about body weight but it

also

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affects

people

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's well-being. Overweight

people

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are very likely to have other health issues

such

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as hypertension, diabetes and even cardiovascular problems.

In addition

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, being overweight affects

people

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's mental state, as they will be less confident in their physical appearance, and they might

also

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face difficulty in finding clothes to fit them. Government should create awareness through different media and

also

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encourage

people

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to stay fit by awarding those who meet fitness goals. For one thing, the Singapore government awards

people

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who walk at least ten thousand steps a day by giving them some sort of voucher. In conclusion,

obesity

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has become more and more common in both children and adults. Governments should tackle

this

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problem before it causes

people

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to get chronic diseases and affects the countries' population.

Submitted by Wai on Thu Nov 04 2021

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

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for instance
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such as
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take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adult. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that competition is good thing . Others believe that we should try cooperative more rather then competing against each other , descise both idea and tell your openin

Some people believe that governments should make investment in building public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because we have access to information via Internet. Discuss and give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages.

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. Do you agree or disagree?