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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many nations, It is mandatory for youngsters to serve in military
services
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 after the completion of their secondary education. Some individuals argue that all countries should adopt
this
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 concept for both men and
women
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. I agree with the statement as it instils discipline and patriotism in the young generation. The main reason why I believe that military training is important for youngsters is because it plays a crucial role in their personal and character development.
Due to
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 emotional immaturity, youngsters are often distracted and unclear about their career paths. Serving in military service after leaving school would give them enough time to explore their passion and clarity towards their future goals.
Moreover
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, military service teaches discipline, time management and teamwork.It
also
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 encourages physical and mental resilience.
For example
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, countries like South Korea have seen positive impacts on youth behaviour. Another reason why I support the notion that military
services
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 should be compulsory is because it promotes national unity and patriotism. It builds a sense of pride and unity among citizens and encourages them to value peace and national security.
Moreover
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, citizens with basic military training can help in natural disasters and environmental crises. The inclusion of
women
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 in the military would break stereotypes and promote equal responsibility. In conclusion, making military
services
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 compulsory for both men and
women
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 can bring numerous benefits
such
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 as instilling discipline, promoting physical fitness and strengthening national unity. It ensures that citizens are well prepared to face emergencies and contribute meaningfully to their country.
Therefore
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, it would be wise to advise all countries to make military
services
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 compulsory, possibly including
women
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 to build a more responsible and resilient society.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas more clearly between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is great for setting the tone of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You presented your ideas in a logical order, which helps the reader understand your points easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory
  • Military service
  • Conscription
  • Patriotism
  • National security
  • Social equality
  • Discipline
  • Physical fitness
  • Life skills
  • Job training
  • Infringement
  • Conscripts
  • Gender equality
  • Mandatory
  • Economy
  • Education system
  • Labor market
  • Civil service
  • Alternative forms
  • Balanced view
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