Some people believe that government should take care of old people whereas others oppose this view.Discuss both the views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Aging
Change the spelling
Ageing
show examples
has presented individuals with a number of challenges and problems. None of which is too rudimentary to ignore. Whilst the majority of
people
Use synonyms
are of the opinion that the massive burden of looking after
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
old persons is on the shoulders of
government
Use synonyms
, there is a group of
people
Use synonyms
who opines
government
Use synonyms
has no responsibility for old persons. as it comes to me, authorities should place a high value on
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
and support them.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss both views. On the one hand, so seriously has
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
show examples
life expectancy in the elderly affected some individual’s mind that they suppose
government
Use synonyms
should provide suitable facilities for them and
Improve
Correct your spelling
improve
show examples
their quality of life. Studies show in the U.S.A,which is a developed country,old
people
Use synonyms
live longer since they have a higher standard of living.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can be able to afford
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
domestic help provided that
government
Use synonyms
suports
Correct your spelling
supports
them financially, even if they are abandoned by their children.
Consequently
Linking Words
, They have a happier and better quality of life.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
supporting them is costly. In some countries where there is a large population of elderly
people
Use synonyms
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
show examples
amount of money must go on looking after them and these costs not only can cause many problems for authorities,
such
Linking Words
as lack of budget
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
can lead to discrimination between different generations.
This
Linking Words
group
also
Linking Words
supposes if the
government
Use synonyms
took care of old
people
Use synonyms
their lives would be aimless and meaningless because keeping to try standing on their own knees and working make their lives meaningful and purposeful.
furthermore
Linking Words
, it can keep them much more active.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: