Some people said that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The rise in
sports
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
have
Change the verb form
has
said
to be one way to offer better Add a missing verb
been said
health
generaly
by some people, Correct your spelling
generally
general
on the other hand
, several people believe that such
will have minor
Correct article usage
a minor
impact
on the
public Correct article usage
apply
health
. I am of the opinion that the more sports
facilities
that are created would help the public healthier. This
essay will discuss, why the commissions of more sports
facilities
will improve public health
, and why the provision of more facilities
would have less impact
on public health
rather the government can create awareness on health
education.
Provision
of more Correct article usage
The provision
sports
facilities
can ensure that the public gets healthy. For instance
, exercise has shown to be a proven solution to attaining better health
, taking myself for example
, since i
started going to the gym to exercise Change the capitalization
I
i
have not been to the hospital or clinic for any medical issues. Change the capitalization
I
Hence
, creating more sports
facilities
could help the public gain better health
by exercising.
On the other hand
, the government can offer awareness on health
education such
as,
dieting, Remove the comma
apply
negative
Add an article
the negative
impact
of inhaling cigaret
, and negative Correct your spelling
cigarette
impact
of consuming alcohol. These
form of education could help the public weary and treat their body with the utmost care, and gain better Correct determiner usage
This
health
as a result
.
Furthermore
, I am of the belief that exercising helps build your imune
system towards certain illness, and Correct your spelling
immune
also
help keep your body in shape. So, provision
of more Correct article usage
the provision
sports
facilities
is critical to the betterment of the Replace the word
public
publics
Correct your spelling
public
health
, and the public should embrace this
opportunity rather than overwhelming the health
system with Add an article
an illness
the illness
illness
that could have been prevented by exercising.
In conclusion, creating awareness in support to improve the Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
Replace the word
public
publics
Correct your spelling
public
health
as opposed to increased
amount of Add an article
the increased
an increased
sports
facilities
to better the publics
Correct your spelling
public
health
are all good forms of making positive
change to the public. Add an article
a positive
Although
, more sports
facilities
is the best way to curb health
issues in the public.Submitted by senikanosleu on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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