IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The older you get , the more difficult life becomes.

#life
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Each
person
Use synonyms
 will come across all the stages of
life
Use synonyms
. It is believed that, when
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 becomes older,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 turns
tragedy
Change preposition
into tragedy
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is true in
this
Linking Words
 recent era and I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
This
Linking Words
 essay describes the reasons for the former view. To commence, each
person
Use synonyms
 will grow into old. When
life
Use synonyms
 began as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 infant, start to crawl and slowly learn to walk and talk. They are dependent on their parents, who helps them as a support system. But, when the same individual
grown
Wrong verb form
grows
show examples
 as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 old man, the situation becomes worse. Being old, even they need help to walk and perform certain chores.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are not willing to do
Linking Words
such
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
 help.
This
Linking Words
 makes the number of
people
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 joining in the old age home.
As a result
Linking Words
, old age homes are increased nowadays when compared to
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, elderly
people
Use synonyms
 should learn to lead
the
Change the word
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 in
healthy
Change the article
a healthy
show examples
 way in order to overcome
this
Linking Words
 situation. If a
person
Use synonyms
 stays fit, the need of visiting
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
 is not necessary.
This
Linking Words
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 their dependency on others.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, they feel that they were in
insecurity
Correct article usage
an insecurity
show examples
 state. They might think, though surrounded by few
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, but still they were not
in
Correct your spelling
insecure
show examples
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
show examples
 stage. To conclude, each
person
Use synonyms
 will face
Add an article
a struggle
show examples
struggle
Fix the agreement mistake
struggles
show examples
 in
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
situation
Change to a plural noun
situations
show examples
, despite he is old or young. But, in old age, it is more difficult to have food or to maintain health. Based on the aforementioned reasons, when
people
Use synonyms
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 older their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 turn
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difficult.
Submitted by priyankasumathi21 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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