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Band 6.5

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
Some argue that
success
 is achieved by building fortunes, others think it is measured by the amount of social benefit that a
person
 provides. As far as I am concerned, I see that
success
 definition differs from
one
person
 to another, and does not have a measuring unit. As long as an individual has self-satisfaction and likes what he does
then
 he is successful.
This
 essay will discuss how both ways of thinking can lead to
success
. On the
one
 hand, individuals who target making
money
 in their
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 and achieving
this
 goal are considered extremely successful for numerous reasons.
Firstly
, as long as the
money
 comes from a legal source, these people ought to be contributing to (not for) the well being of humankind in
one
 way or another. Because, in order to make
money
,
one
 should have made beneficial investments in other companies which serves the community, or have his own unique business which serves the community as well. Without newly innovative businesses, people would not have any technological advancements or reach the easy life that we live nowadays.
On the other hand
, being a scientist or a teacher,
in other words
, working for the benefit of the society by contributing to raising newly educated generations or adding value to certain scientific fields, will
also
 lead to
success
. Which is using
this
 science for the benefit of nations by opening more startups which in turn offer employment opportunities for educated students. The same thing could have been done if the
person
’s target was to make
money
. To conclude, whether an individual succeded in being a lucrative
person
 or a scientist
then
 he is called a successful
person
. Since the only difference is that
one
 opinion thinks from an economical point of view while the other thinks from a scientific point of view. So defining
success
 is relative to each
person
 depending on his futuristic goals.
Submitted by bayoumy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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