All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?
People have started
Fix the infinitive
to gain
gain
more Change the form of the verb
gaining
weight
than past.Obesity is becoming the
major problem Correct article usage
a
in
all over the world. Change preposition
apply
This
growing concern worsely
affect our younger generation .In Correct your spelling
worse
this
essay
we can discuss the causes and Add a comma
,essay
solution
to overcome the issue.
Obesity is becoming a significant issue Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
in
all over the world. There are many reasons behind Change preposition
apply
this
trouble , first
and foremost, changing lifestyle and eating habit create this
more compicated
.To be precise, most of the Correct your spelling
complicated
children
and youth are busy with their working schedule , therefore
, they are not let
them follow meal on the right time and it provides appetite problem. While someone more Change the verb form
have not let
depending
on fast food Wrong verb form
depends
instead
of homely meals. Hence
, it leads to intake more
Change preposition
of more
carbohyderate
and Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
carbohydrates
gain
more weight
. On the other hand
, now people are enjoying sedentary life and include more fried and junkfood
. Correct your spelling
junk food
Secondly
, due to the advancement of technology
we are available with all facilities and make us Add a comma
,technology
to
prevent from casual walking . For illustrate, we are depending Change the verb form
apply
car
or motorbicyle to go Change preposition
on car
nearest
shop Change preposition
to nearest
instead
of walking and assisting lift other than climbing
staircase . Add an article
a climbing
the climbing
Last
but not final, some heritatery
and medical issues Correct your spelling
heritage
woul
lead to Correct your spelling
would
gain
more weight
such
as ,
depression, PCOD, cancer.
Remove the comma
apply
Invention
of new communication devices and Add an article
The invention
development
of cities made Correct article usage
the development
children
to
sit Change the verb form
apply
in
Change preposition
at
home
. Add an article
the home
Therefore
, passing
time they are Add an article
the passing
speding
time with television, video games and mobile phone. Most Correct your spelling
spending
of
Change preposition
apply
children
have the habit to eat chips and any fried items while watching television and mobile phone.Add an article
the children
However
, the growing issue can be tackled with the help of parents and government
. Healthy youngsters are Correct article usage
the government
the
asset of our world, so that , Correct article usage
an
government
should open more playgrounds for Add an article
the government
children
in all residential areas. While ,
parents can encourage their kids Remove the comma
apply
playing
outside and Change the verb form
to play
engaging
them Wrong verb form
engage
with
any cultural activities. Authorities should conduct awareness Change preposition
in
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
pertain
to health and obesity. Change the form of the verb
pertaining
Fix the agreement mistake
Adults
Adult
should take Add an article
An adult
The adult
Correct your spelling
initiative
intiative
to start regular exercise ,it would help to ascertain Correct article usage
the intiative
postive
and energy in our life.
To conclude, health is wealth , Correct your spelling
positive
thus
we should take more steps to maintain our health. Follow good
diet and do regular exercise to prevent Add an article
a good
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
weight
.Submitted by divyajayarajan95 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.