All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

People have started
Fix the infinitive
to gain
show examples
gain
Change the form of the verb
gaining
show examples
more
weight
than past.Obesity is becoming
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major problem
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world.
This
growing concern
worsely
Correct your spelling
worse
affect our younger generation .In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
we can discuss the causes and
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
to overcome the issue. Obesity is becoming a significant issue
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world. There are many reasons behind
this
trouble ,
first
and foremost, changing lifestyle and eating habit create
this
more
compicated
Correct your spelling
complicated
.To be precise, most of the
children
and youth are busy with their working schedule ,
therefore
, they
are not let
Change the verb form
have not let
show examples
them follow meal on the right time and it provides appetite problem. While someone more
depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
on fast food
instead
of homely meals.
Hence
, it leads to intake
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
carbohyderate
Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
carbohydrates
and
gain
more
weight
.
On the other hand
, now people are enjoying sedentary life and include more fried and
junkfood
Correct your spelling
junk food
.
Secondly
, due to the advancement of
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
we are available with all facilities and make us
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
prevent from casual walking . For illustrate, we are depending
car
Change preposition
on car
show examples
or motorbicyle to go
nearest
Change preposition
to nearest
show examples
shop
instead
of walking and assisting lift other than
climbing
Add an article
a climbing
the climbing
show examples
staircase .
Last
but not final, some
heritatery
Correct your spelling
heritage
and medical issues
woul
Correct your spelling
would
lead to
gain
more
weight
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
depression, PCOD, cancer.
Invention
Add an article
The invention
show examples
of new communication devices and
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of cities made
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
sit
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
.
Therefore
,
passing
Add an article
the passing
show examples
time they are
speding
Correct your spelling
spending
time with television, video games and mobile phone. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Add an article
the children
show examples
have the habit to eat chips and any fried items while watching television and mobile phone.
However
, the growing issue can be tackled with the help of parents and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. Healthy youngsters are
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
asset of our world, so that ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should open more playgrounds for
children
in all residential areas. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
parents can encourage their kids
playing
Change the verb form
to play
show examples
outside and
engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
them
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
any cultural activities. Authorities should conduct awareness
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
pertain
Change the form of the verb
pertaining
show examples
to health and obesity.
Fix the agreement mistake
Adults
show examples
Adult
Add an article
An adult
The adult
show examples
should take
Correct your spelling
initiative
intiative
Correct article usage
the intiative
show examples
to start regular exercise ,it would help to ascertain
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
and energy in our life. To conclude, health is wealth ,
thus
we should take more steps to maintain our health. Follow
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
diet and do regular exercise to prevent
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
weight
.
Submitted by divyajayarajan95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Overweight
  • Epidemic
  • Sedentary
  • Processed food
  • Fast food
  • Nutritional education
  • Awareness
  • Stress
  • Emotional eating
  • Genetic factors
  • Access
  • Healthy food options
  • Marketing
  • Urbanization
  • Lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: