Some people believe that money makes life comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more troubles. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

Having a good income can make your life comfortable and put less pressure on your daily life. ,
Also
some
people
believe it can form many obstacles.
Although
, it has some disadvantages the advantages are much more considerable. It is true that you are not stressed or worried about what will happen in the future when you have a good income and a large amount of wealth.
For instance
, if something happens to you and you need a doctor and medical treatments you are not afraid that you can not afford the doctor or medical care so you can focus on getting better.
furthermore
, you can have a luxurious life if you are rich and buy everything that makes you happy and
also
live the best you can. Other
people
believe that becoming an affluent person can have a bad effect on you. If
people
know that you have a large amount of money they will try to make relationships with you and gain your trust and the particular reason for
this
circumstance is
people
want to take advantage of richness.
This
can be very dangerous for you.
Moreover
, when you are a rich person it can lead to fame.
Although
, it is good to be famous it
also
can be bad. When you become introduced, your privacy is in danger because of the journalists and paparazzi. To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
show examples
everything that has been stated so far I consider the features of having money to outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by sia_21gr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • assets
  • investment
  • quality of life
  • employment opportunities
  • healthcare
  • freedom
  • philanthropic activities
  • stress and anxiety
  • financial status
  • trust issues
  • jealousy
  • privacy
  • scrutiny
What to do next:
Look at other essays: