Some people believe that money makes life comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more troubles. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #money #life #amount #wealth #troubles

Having a good income can make your life comfortable and put less pressure on your daily life. ,

Also

some

people

believe it can form many obstacles.

Although

, it has some disadvantages the advantages are much more considerable. It is true that you are not stressed or worried about what will happen in the future when you have a good income and a large amount of wealth.

For instance

, if something happens to you and you need a doctor and medical treatments you are not afraid that you can not afford the doctor or medical care so you can focus on getting better.

furthermore

, you can have a luxurious life if you are rich and buy everything that makes you happy and

also

live the best you can. Other

people

believe that becoming an affluent person can have a bad effect on you. If

people

know that you have a large amount of money they will try to make relationships with you and gain your trust and the particular reason for

this

circumstance is

people

want to take advantage of richness.

This

can be very dangerous for you.

Moreover

, when you are a rich person it can lead to fame.

Although

, it is good to be famous it

also

can be bad. When you become introduced, your privacy is in danger because of the journalists and paparazzi. To sum

Add a comma

,up

show examples

everything that has been stated so far I consider the features of having money to outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by sia_21gr on Sun Nov 07 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money makes life comfortable. Others think that a large amount of wealth brings more troubles. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that web contents should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

in some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?

In many countries, children are engaged paid in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong. while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. discuss both these views and give your opinion.