IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Do good results at school or college guarantee success in life? Discuss the advantages that a good education can have on your future. Do you believe that studying hard will bring a better life?

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Nowadays, having high
marks
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 in educational
life
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 is still discussed among people as it will lead to a successful
life
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 in the
future
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. It's undeniable that getting the best grades at school or college has its own advantages like widening learners' horizons
,
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apply
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 and acquiring new skills through studying hard to get those
marks
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 which can help them in their
future
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 to build up successful careers.
Also
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, I believe that investing your time in knowledge no matter what will definitely pay off positive results both in your personal
life
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 and job.
To begin
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 with, in our competitive community, it's necessary to get the right education at the right time because you can only be ahead of others with your knowledge. We should admit that learning and achieving top
marks
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 at school demands incredible efforts from the side of students, throughout
this
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 journey by accomplishing given tasks, learners expand their horizons even if they aren't eager to do that,
due to
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 the variety of information. Obviously,
this
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 habit will impact their imminent career.
For example
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,
according to
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 a survey by Harvard University, the vast majority of graduates approximately 65 % of those with high scores built successful careers and aren't unemployed contrasting with students who got low
marks
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.
Additionally
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, strong academic performance opens doors to higher educational opportunities, leading to advanced degrees and specialized careers.
Furthermore
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, a strong educational background builds confidence and critical thinking skills, essential for problem-solving in the workplace. Clearly, these skills can play a vital role not only in professional settings but
also
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 in personal
life
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, as financial stability can contribute to a less stressful and more secure
future
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.
For instance
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, one of the Cambridge University research reported that 48% of people who had a good education experienced increased earnings and lower unemployment rates.
To sum up
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, a strong academic background serves as a gateway to a well-paid job and a prosperous career.
Moreover
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, not only enhances career success but
also
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 contributes to financial stability and
overall
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life
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 satisfaction, reinforcing the profound impact of education on an individual’s
future
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.

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to include a clearer thesis statement that summarizes your viewpoint more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your paragraphs, ensure that each main point flows logically to the next; using linking phrases could help improve this transition.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, adding more specific examples or statistics could provide further support for your key points, enriching your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument regarding the advantages of a good education, and you effectively used examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Both your introduction and conclusion summarize the main ideas well, which helps to form a coherent structure throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • higher education
  • advanced degrees
  • specialized careers
  • critical thinking skills
  • problem-solving
  • networking opportunities
  • connections
  • job prospects
  • salary
  • job stability
  • quality of life
  • discipline
  • time management
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