IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think computer and internet are important in children's study , but other think students can learn effectively in school and with teachers . Discuss both sides and give your own opinion .

#people #computer #internet #children #study #students #school #teachers
People give different kinds of interpretations on
this
 affair . Some people say
students
 can gain knowledge by using computers and the
internet
 .
On the other hand
 , some individuals say it's better for
students
 to achieve knowledge at
school
 with the help of
teachers
 . I shall put forth my argument to support my view in the following paragraph .
First
 of all , I want to say It has advantages and disadvantages , as nowadays a lot of advanced technology's have been invented and people are able to use these devices like , the computer which has changed our lives and made our lives easier and comfortable . Pupils can study using the computer and the
internet
 , when they face a difficult question they can smoothly search on the
internet
 and get the answer
also
 on the
internet
 there have many platforms of education from here they can learn . Nowadays with the help of
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Add a comma
,internet
show examples
 remote areas
students
 can take part in many skilful
teachers
 classes.
Secondly
 , there have some disadvantages like , sometimes pupils become addicted to the
internet
 and they play different kinds of games and mobile or computer screen light which is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 our eyes . Sometimes they visit some violent website which is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 them . On the other side , In my opinion , it will be secure and beneficial if
students
 learn at
school
 from their
teachers
 .
School
 is the best learning environment and
students
 can get proper information about their questions from
teachers
 ,
Also
students
 can learn practically at
school
 . To sum up , I think in remote areas
students
 can learn using the
internet
 but those who have the opportunity to go to
school
 they should go to
school
 .
Submitted by paveldewan2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital literacy
  • educational resources
  • interactive educational tools
  • personalized learning
  • immediate feedback
  • structured environment
  • social interaction
  • overall development
  • physical resources
  • practical learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: