Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that old
people
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should be supported by their younger family members when they become disabled or financially unable to look after themselves.
This
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essay agrees completely with that statement and urges society to take care of our elders. It is conspicuous that younger family members should be the first involved when a family member becomes incapable of taking care of himself because of health issues or financial problems.
This
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is because those
people
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used to bring up their children too and, for many of them, it was a heavy burden for years. Indeed, raising a kid costs a lot, and logically, the least that children can do to return the favour is to look after their parents when they reach an advanced age.
Furthermore
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,
this
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rule is applied in several nations
such
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as Morocco, where youngsters
support
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their parents when they get sick and are completely dependent on someone else.
On the other hand
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, it wouldn't be fair and relevant to make
people
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responsible for their elders alone.In fact, citizens are not trained to look after ill
people
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, especially when they need a specific treatment. For
this
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matter, it would be pertinent to involve the government too because of the fact that disabled patients are in need of professionals in healthcare
such
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as nurses, who will look after them with convenience.
Overall
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, supporting, expenditures to
support
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a disabled person may be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
too heavy load for households. In
this
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regard, it would be relevant for governmental institutions to financially
support
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families which feature an old sick citizen.In Germany
for example
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, families who take care of an aged parent benefit from financial subventions from their government. In conclusion, It is crystal clear that young family members have the duty to look after their elders because those
people
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gave their all to raise them.
However
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, the government should
also
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contribute by providing financial
support
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.

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task achievement
Ensure a balanced view by elaborating slightly more on the counterargument. Although you have mentioned the role of the government, expanding on this perspective would enhance the depth of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Although the progression of ideas generally flows well, using linking words more frequently can further improve cohesion. Words like 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'In contrast', can guide the reader through your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
When providing examples, ensure they have clear relevance by explicitly linking them back to the main point. This could strengthen how well your examples support your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay maintains a clear focus on the topic and addresses the task effectively by discussing both the responsibility of families and the role of the government.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the one from Morocco and Germany, effectively supports your points and adds credibility to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, firmly establishing your stance on the topic.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • filial piety
  • elder care
  • aging population
  • public resources
  • state welfare
  • financial burden
  • legal mandate
  • family dynamics
  • moral responsibility
  • residency
  • integrity
  • dependency
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