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Band 6

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#today’s #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence
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There is no doubt that these days many families own dual sources of
income
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. And in most houses, husband and wife must
to
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apply
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earn money in order to cover their expenses. The question is, is
this
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 will be for the good of
children
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 or
children
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 will
affected
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affect
be affected
show examples
 majorly? In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my own conclusion. In terms of
positive
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the positive
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 side, some people believe that additional
income
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 will be
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a benefit
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benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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 for
children
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. The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that the
children
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 will gain much when both
parents
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 are
income
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 earners, as the extra
income
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 will be like a better standard of living for them. To illustrate,
children
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who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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parents
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 are high
income
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 often go to the best schools. They have
also
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possibility
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the possibility
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 access to a lot of educational devices that can boost their learning.
In other words
Linking Words
,
kids
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 in these homes can be able to bear things costs that they need it.
Thus
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 that will lead to
create
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creating
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peaceful
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the peaceful
a peaceful
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 environment they grow up and it
reduce
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reduces
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 probable of conditions related
of
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to
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 stress for both
parents
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 and
children
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.
However
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, others strongly believe that
kids
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 are the most affected for their lack the support
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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caused by the absence of their
parents
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.
Firstly
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,
this
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 is a fact that most
parents
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 are not available usually for their
children
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, usual day-by-day
work
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 and financial responsibilities do not allow
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apply
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the
Correct your spelling
them
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 enough
time
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 to spend
time
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 with
children
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.
Secondly
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,
busy
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a busy
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 lifestyle
contribute
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contributes
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 at
work
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 to emotional disconnection in most families.
This
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 is because that most jobs require
from
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apply
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their emplores to
work
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 from 9 am till 5 pm, where
parents
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 come back to
houses
Correct pronoun usage
their houses
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in
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at
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late
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the late
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time
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 of night and they do not have enough
time
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 for their
kids
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.
Also
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, working
parents
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 do not know how their
kids
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 spend in their absence, as
children
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 may resort to
require
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requiring
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
guidance from friends or TV and they might
affected
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be affected
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 by peer pressure or join gangs, which increase the dropout rate from school. In conclusion,
although
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 financial boosts could provide guarantee and strength for
family
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the family
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, parental love, affection and guidance are more important for
children
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 during their growth.
Therefore
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, I believe that
parents
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 should guide and support their babies and try as much as possible to balance
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
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 and family life.
Submitted by besho0h on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income households
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • emotional well-being
  • parental involvement
  • social development
  • extracurricular activities
  • childcare solutions
  • time management
  • career advancement
What to do next:
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